The Gardners Must Be Crazy

Waking Up to My Two Favorite Words

2012-01-26T17:29:00.006-06:00

I love days like today. Days where I think to myself, "Thank God I'm a parent." This morning I was woken up by the gentle tones of my son yelling "Make Me!" and a door slam. He only said it once, but it was with conviction. The kind of statement that makes me want to respond with shock and awe. I have no idea what conversation preceded his angry little show (a full 2 hours before I needed to be at work, I might add) other than my wife had said "Yes" right before he put on. Apparently that wasn't the right answer. Which confirms to me that Chris should have stuck to our usual policy of answering any question presented while we're still in bed (or before 9am on weekends) with a "No," but that's a lesser point.

And just to be clear, it was my bedroom door he was slamming.
My. Bedroom. Door.
Attack. Mode. Initiated.

Make Me!
Make Me? You're on!
All I knew at that moment was I really, REALLY wanted to make him. I was definitely up for the challenge. As God is my witness, I was going to make him. I had visions of how this was going to go down. I'd leap out of bed like a burning ninja. He'd turn to run but it would be too late. I'd drop him like an angry lion and pin him to the floor, breathing in his face. His eyes would be wide and scared as he realized how much his mistake was about to cost him. I'd get right in his face and say, "So you didn't think I could make you do it? What do you think now, smart guy?" And he'd cry, "Yes Dad, Yes! I'm so sorry! I'll do it, I'll do it!" Then I would march or drag him off and MAKE him do it. That's right. Don't mess with Daddy because he WILL make you. Lesson learned the hard way.

And if I had the slightest clue what he didn't want to make... I assure you would have made him do it. Fortunately for him, I kinda missed that part. So after fantasizing about Alpha Dogging my son, I decided that personal vindication wasn't worth ruining everyone's day... or even really worth getting out of bed. What was I going to do, grab him and yell, "Whatever it is you don't you want to do, you're gonna do it now Mr.!"? I heard Chris throw out an, "Oh No You Didn't!" from her side of the bed but I didn't see any follow up movement. That seemed like an appropriate retort, and luckily for him required no effort or cat-like reflexes on my part... that would have been a bloodbath. Because I'm telling you, I was going to make him.

Some day, he'll thank me for being lazy.

Ahh 13

2012-01-14T11:24:00.001-06:00

Habtamu had his first shovelling job of the season and he made $20 yesterday afternoon! I picked him up at 5:15pm, and before dinner he had spent $19.74. So basically he shovelled nearly two hours for a shiny Trapper Keeper binder thingy, a root beer, and a quarter. Remember those days?
What is wrong with kids today? They should be investing their money in comicbooks and graphic novels like I did! *eyeroll*

Merry Christmas Like a Boss

2011-12-24T20:34:00.001-06:00

We have three cats that take pot shots at ornaments on the Christmas tree and act like they're king of the jungle. Then there's Murray who actually brought us TWO Christmas presents this year. He's so thoughtful. The tricky part is getting him to drop it...

For the record, a while back I saw him swat a bat out of the air. He's the only surface-to-air cat I've ever known. And yes, his eyes glow like that when he's in hunt mode. He's just that awesome.

Rico, our Grinchy, child-hating feline, has been camping out under the Christmas tree, hissing and swatting at any kids who come by to sniff around their presents. So I guess he's been kind of our Christmas Day insurance policy. The other two cats have been completely useless unless you count 'permanent bed warmer' as a job.

The kids aren't fairing much better today. The change in routine that comes with vacation time combined with Christmas anticipation is really throwing them off. We were talking to some other parents at church tonight about how both our kids had been sent to their rooms today. Yo heard the conversation and wanted everyone to know that she had only gone *once,* knowing that her brother couldn't say the same. Habta has been all over the emotional map today. It could just be jitters and too much screen time, but we're kind of thinking that the MSG from the mountain of Chinese food we had last night might have something to do with it. He rarely gets crabby right after eating, and for three meals we've been working down those leftovers and his mood swings. If we're right, it could explain some things. We also watched a movie tonight where a father and his teenage son deal with the death of their wife/mother. I swear I had no idea that was going to be a plot point. I'm sure THAT had nothing to do with it...

On a lighter note, the kids got to open one present each tonight, of mama's choosing. They were unwrapped with a squee, because who wouldn't want pink panda one-piece footed pajamas ??? and a slow and low "These are awe-some" from the teen boy who can now dream of Chuck Norris in his new camouflage flannels. I'm sure Chuck sleeps in camos too.

So, what did you do today?

2011-12-12T22:33:00.000-06:00

A lot, actually.

Cleaned the bathroom
Put dishes away from dishwasher
Washed other dishes
Took kids to school
Worked out
Did 3 loads of laundry
Cleaned inside of refrigerator
Finished 2 mittens
Helped one kid with math
Helped other kid with writing
Taught 2 children to knit
Made quesadillas
Put dishes away from dishwasher (yes, again)
Got lunch stuff ready for kids

I think it's time for bed.

Generations

2011-12-10T12:58:00.004-06:00

My grandmother on my mom's side was an artist. She was actually much more than this, but for the sake of introduction, I'll just say she painted a lot. As a life long painter, she had her style, her preferences, and definitely some phases (or periods as the artsy types call them) which are kind of cool to look back on.

To say she was a driving force in the family would be an understatement. Whether intentional or not, she knew how to build a legacy. When she died, she left a room full of paintings, volumes of poetry, two generations of singers and musicians, and multiple grandchildren and great-grandchildren named after her (I can name 4, but there's probably more.) I've always been glad that my wife got to meet her, and saddened that my kids will only know of her through her impact on me, and will never meet her in person. I suspect they would have gotten along very well and would have had a lot to talk about.

I remember that after she died, everyone in the extended family got at least one piece of her artwork. There was a lot to choose from and if I remember right, the rules were pretty simple. Since she did a lot of portraits, if you were in it, you got it. Then her children picked their favorite(s.) Then the grandchildren could squabble over whatever was left from oldest to youngest. After all was said and done, my uncle kept the rest and made something of a showroom in his basement. A couple months ago we were at that uncle's condo and I actually got to peruse the 'gallery of leftovers.' There was all kinds of stuff that either I had never seen, or had completely forgotten about. Half way across the room I spotted a painting and said, "Looks like grandma knew something before the rest of us." Yo was kind enough to pose and prove my point.

Suspicions confirmed, they would have gotten along famously.

I don't know anything about this painting or when or why my grandmother decided to put it on canvas. I just know that if you're in it, you get it. I also know that I would have stiff armed my uncle and ran out of there with that painting if I thought I could fit it in the car.

And you were expecting what exactly for Christmas?

2011-12-08T20:22:00.003-06:00

Back story: Two days prior to this conversation with my darling daughter, I had actually promised to take the kids out for ice cream 'soon' so I'm sure that somehow what follows is my fault.

Yo: Dad. You are GOING to take us to McDonalds for ice cream now.
Me: I am, am I?
Yo: Yes, and if you don't, I'm going to punch you in the face.
Me: Oh really?
Yo: Yes, I'm going to punch you in the face and drive us there myself.
Me: Well then I guess I better take you to McDonalds.
Yo: Yes and when the policeman pulls me over and asks why I'm driving, I'll just tell him you are drunked.
Me: Really.
Yo: Yep, and if he says you look like you got beat up, then I will tell him it happened when you got kicked out of one of the bar places. I had to drag you to the car to bring you home.
Me: Did you see this in a movie?
Yo: No.
Me: You've been thinking about this for a while haven't you?
Yo: Nope, Just made it up right here.

(Note that we were both laughing after she said 'punch' so it was all in good fun. Kind of disturbing, but funny nonetheless. I think she gets it from me.)

And lest anyone think that my son would be above such immaturity, the other night in the car he was trying to negotiate with me that I should leave his mother at "one of those bar things or a tattoo store" because "I'm sure there's nice mans there who would treat her very good" just so he could sit in the front seat. It is a heated seat, so I could see his point. I personally didn't think it was 'dump your mother at a brothel' cold, but then I wasn't sitting in the back. In shorts. And sandals. In December. But yeah, that would be a quick ticket to the hot seat alright.

Lie to me next time.

2011-11-18T18:36:00.000-06:00

Do not read this post if it is near a meal time. You may feel the need to shower after this story. You have been warned.

Names changed to Child 1 and Child A to protect the (not so) innocent.

So, while I was cleaning last week, I happened upon the door at the top of the stairs. It appeared to have crusty little flecks of, well, it looked like boogers to me. I cleaned them off, and convinced myself that it wasn't what I thought it was.

Later, I was talking with the kids over dinner. (I forget where Lee was, but it was just me and the kids.) The conversation turned to what I had done that day.

Me: (in a joking, jovial mood) Well, I cleaned upstairs. Oh, and by the way, who left boogers on the door at the top of the stairs?

Child 1: Ew. It wasn't me.
Child A: Ew. It wasn't me.

Me: (still laughing) Oh, come on... who was it?

Child 1: Not me... that's gross!
Child A: (looking shifty) Wait. Which door are you talking about?

Me and Child 1: Gross!

Me: The door at the top of the stairs. For what possible reason would you have put boogers there?

Child A: Um... I forget.

Child 1: That is so disgusting!

Me to Child 1: Oh, come on, you know you do it too. Where do you put yours?

Child 1: Well... I put some on the side of my bed.

The main problem with this as a teachable moment, is that I used to do the same thing when I was a kid. I'll bet I'm not alone. And, if I'm not, please don't tell me.

Yeah, I'm a beast...

2011-11-11T17:29:00.000-06:00

That spot on my back that can't be reached itched the other day, so instead of asking for someone with cold hands to scratch it I backed into a door frame and rubbed against it.
Habtamu walked by looking at me oddly.
"My back itches," I said, as if I needed to explain myself.
He smiled, "When did you become a buffalo, Dad?"

Not Me.

If he hadn't caught me so offguard, I would have asked him where he learned that. I still don't know.

Great vocabulary, no plot.

2011-11-09T19:45:00.001-06:00

In the Gardner household, there is often reading material sitting in the bathroom. These days a 900 page Michener novel mysteriously appeared across from the toilet and hasn't moved in a while. Yoyo brought it to me in my bedroom figuring it would make a good conversation starter.

Yo: Dad, this book is 800 pages.
Me: Yep.
Yo: It's huge.
Me: Yep.
Yo: I can't believe mom can read a book this big. Can you believe it?
Me: Nope.
Yo: Well actually... *flip-flip-flip* it's 879 pages.
Sensing a teachable moment and a real-life opportunity to use those estimation skills she's been honing in math I say: So 879 pages is almost...
Yo: ...a dictionary. I'll put it back in the bathroom now.

Third Degree from Little Mamma

2011-11-08T19:23:00.006-06:00

So Saturday morning Yordanos is in my grill sometime before 8am while I'm still in bed.

Yo: Good morning Dad.
Me: What? UGH. Morning. Zzzzz
Yo: Were you with Marty last night?
Me: Yes.
Yo: Did you play guitar?
Me: Yes.
Yo: How late were you out?
Me: What?
Yo: How. Late. Were. You. Out?
Me: Uuuuugh... Umm... after midnight.
Yo: That's late.
Me: Yes.
Yo: Did you go to one of those bar places?
Me: Yes.
Yo: Was it big?
Me: No. It was small.
Yo: Did you have adult drinks?
Me: Yes.
Yo: Did you hokey pokey?
Me: What?
Yo: Did you hokey pokey?
Me: What?
Yo: Did. You. Ho. Key. Po. Key?
Me: WHAT? No. No, I did not hokey pokey.
Yo: Then why were you out so late at a bar?
Me: Wait a minute... do you mean karaoke?
Yo: Yeah. Hokey Pokey, karaoke, whatever. You should have come home sooner.

Math and Me: A Love Story without the Love

2011-10-20T21:22:00.001-05:00

When I was in 1st grade and saw a minus sign for the first time, I immediately changed it to a plus sign, because, REALLY, I already knew math. Some kid in my class "told" on me, and I blushed so hard when I realized this was "new" (ie: other than addition) math, that the shameful feelings continued on through the rest of school.

My "It's time for math" face.

Math and I were never close from that day forward. I think maybe I blamed math on making me feel stupid... which it continued to do over the years simply because I could never see the point to it.

My father-in-law (math teacher) and husband (physics major) would say you learn it so you can do even MORE math. Or Physics! Whoopee!

Fast forward 20 years... I picked up an algebra book at our local library book sale. Why? I don't know, other than I was looking for a challenge, and dog-gone if I didn't work myself through the whole book. I made sense now... maybe it needed 20 years to percolate, maybe the shame I had felt about it was gone, and being relaxed about it, and not being graded for it... maybe all those things led to the perfect storm for me.

Fast forward another 3 years, and I find myself teaching math to my children. (And reading, but that's a different story.) For some reason, Perimeter and Area are the bane of my children's existence. If someone can teach it to them in a way they can remember it for more than 3 seconds, I won't even be jealous. Even Grandpa tried to teach them. He walked away thinking he'd got it in their heads... not so, not so. I've had them on their hands and knees measuring carpets, up on the table measuring the table top, and measuring the windows for curtains. I've drawn examples on graph paper about 50,000,000 times. (See how comfortable I am with math now?)

The impetus for this post was the argument I had TWICE today with Habtamu about Area. I admit that I get hot under the collar when I am unable to explain something that is so clear to me to someone who SEEMS to be not understanding ON PURPOSE. Yeah, I know it's not on purpose, but A=b x h is really about as straight forward as you can get. A kinder, gentler math, if you will. Habtamu's math teacher told me today that soon they will be dealing with 3 dimensions instead of 2. Oy.

All that is to say is that 'Ignorance IS Bliss' because if I were still ignorant of the ways of math, I could shrug and say "Huh. I dunno. Ask your father." Just like I do with Science...

(Liberal) Arts Education

2011-10-04T19:25:00.006-05:00

So the other day, I'm in the car with Yordanos and "Don't bring me down" by ELO comes on the radio. After a lengthy discussion about how a "snake in the grass" is an idiom and not to be taken literally, the song ends and the DJ says, "That song came out in 1979!"
So of course I mumble something about how I was 7 years old at the time. Yo looks at me and says, "It's hard to believe you were ever a kid," to which I respond, "Yeah, sometimes I can hardly remember it myself."

Half a mile later I look over at her and say, "You do know that I did used to be a kid. You've seen pictures, right?" She looks back and says, "Yes dad. You looked like the party rockin' guy."

Now, for those of you who aren't familiar with the Party Rockin Anthem by LMFAO, being compared to that is kind of a compliment wrapped in an insult and then smothered in another compliment. It's flattering because who wouldn't want to be the Party Rockin' Guy, right? If you haven't seen the video, it's amusing. Youtube it. Only seen through the blissfully naive eyes of an adoring daughter could I ever be construed as the Party Rockin' Guy, especially back in the 80's. Of those three words, 'guy' is probably the only one that might have been used to describe me. And since I was in middle school, even that is iffy.

So the bad news is that the party rockin' guy looks like this:Aaaand the good news is that this look is somehow cool again. So it is sort of a twisted compliment.

For the record, this is me in '85

And this is Katy Perry NOW trying to be as awesome as I was 25 years ago.

Here's a pro tip from someone who was there, Katy... kids with braces didn't smile openly in pictures. Ever. See my picture above. That's me with braces, I think. We went years without showing our teeth. Headgear or otherwise, you kept your lips clamped shut. And if your lenses weren't thick enough to warp the size of your face by about a factor of 6, then clearly your vision is fine and you would have squinted through high school with the rest of the jocks.

So after doing the mental loop-the-loop about my daughter's not-so-backhanded compliment, I looked over and said, "You know... looking like that wasn't 'cool' back then."

"Really? Huh." she replied genuinely.

Being cool before its cool isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.

Arts Education

2011-09-29T20:16:00.004-05:00

So when you talk to my daughter and find that she prefers Freddie Mercury to Ke$ha, you'll know why.

It's no accident.

Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation (CLICK HERE)

Equal Face Time

2011-09-14T12:16:00.001-05:00

Looking through the recent posts... realized they've been all texty or Yo-centric. So, let's talk about the boy. Er... man? Young man-person. Habtamu got back from his week away and is a) taller, b) taller, c) taller, and d) more confident/mature/man-ish. I'm so confused.

I mean really. It's only been 3 years.

How does that happen? Shaking head in wonder.

Anyway, I'm so proud of him. He is working very hard in school, and becoming a person of character. (Also, he's quite a character.)

I'm more than a little disconcerted to have to look up to talk to him.

Wait! What time is it ?!?!?!

2011-09-13T00:15:00.000-05:00

I usually go to meet Yordanos part way home after school each day. I carry her bag and lunch box and we talk about her day. A friend of hers had just called the house, so I told Yo about it. We got home and the phone rang, and...

Yordanos picked up the phone, and without breaking stride, took the phone into a different room and closed the door.

And I stood in the hall, mouth open in astonishment. And wonder. And fear. And deja vu. And I continued to stand there, looking foolish, just not believing that it's here already... that thing we girls do (or did, anyway).

The conversation sounded like this, "Hee hee hee. Yes. No WAY! Ok." And ended with, "Hey Mom, can I go to a dance?"

Lord. Have. Mercy.

Don't get any ideas, princess...

2011-09-06T11:09:00.001-05:00

We went to a wedding as a family this past weekend and that may have been an expensive decision on our part. Judging by this picture, I believe someone's expectations are soaring.
No, we didn't get to ride in it, which was good because I don't think we would have gotten her out.

Flown the coop

2011-09-05T20:10:00.002-05:00

This morning we all got up and out at 6am to see Habtamu off for Outdoor Ed. He'll be gone for a week in Missouri with the rest of his 8th grade class, which will mark the longest period the children have been separated since we've known them. Yo says longest time ever because, "they never took trips in Africa." Chris and I both got hand shakes before he got in the van. Apparently, the seasoned parents who got hugs from their children told us the trick is to threaten them beforehand that you will find ways to be far more embarrassing if you don't get a hug. Now we know. It'll be interesting to see if we're met with open arms when he comes home.
I suspect H will be just fine although I don't expect we won't hear much, if anything, from him until they get back. I think the only thing that would "send him over" would be being alone, and I doubt that's going to be an issue with a cabin full of boys and solid adult supervision.

Yordanos has been prancing around and singing all day. She's enjoying the attention of being the only child, though when asked directly, she says she misses her brother already. We'll see how long she appreciates being the center of attention. Knowing her though, she'll eat it up all week.

Sleeping Arrangements

2011-08-27T12:25:00.002-05:00

The week before school started, Habtamu asked to rotate his bed so that his window and fan were at the head of his bed. On the surface this isn't much of an adjustment, but what's interesting is that H no longer has direct line of site of his sister's bed. For 3 years the kids have slept with their doors open and their beds situated so that they could see each other. Neither of them like to sleep upstairs alone when the other one is out at a slumber party or whatever. But I guess we've finally hit the point where they don't need to see each other to fall asleep.

I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but I thought it was noteworthy.

The System welcomes you

2011-08-25T20:33:00.004-05:00

So something that we haven't discussed on the blog yet is the fact that the kids started school outside the home this fall. It's true. Thank the stars that the kids can now get socialized! (If you've been following my writings you'll know that's sarcasm.) Anyway, it was pretty much a unanimous family decision and everyone was ready for a change of pace.
We enrolled Habtamu in 8th grade at a local private Christian school with the hopes that the small class and steady routine (the whole class stays together for every subject) would help him adapt quickly. Yordanos is now a 5th grader at the public school across the street from Habtamu's.
Chris is looking forward to having time to work on house projects that have been forgone for 3 years and is trying to figure out where all the time goes even with the kids out of the house.
We're 5 days in and almost every afternoon H comes home frustrated and worried. He's never had to write down his assignments, or remember homework sheets, or remember to bring home the right books so he can do his homework. All that used to literally be arms length away. So there's been a learning curve, but he's catching on quickly. He wants to succeed. He wants to be at the level of the other kids. He wants to have it all figured out already. That's a lot of pressure.
Yordanos is reading and writing like a champ, and is certainly enjoying the social aspect of school. Math will be her struggling point, but that's no surprise.

So the adventure begins!

I am right, amn't I?

2011-08-21T20:50:00.002-05:00

This week on "English is just stupid" I would like to make the motion that "Ratio" and "Patio" should rhyme. I don't care if it's RAH-tee-Oh or Pay-shEE-Oh, one of them has to change.

Over, Cover, Clover, Hover. Yeah, I'm coming for you next.

On a separate topic, Chris noticed the kids using "amn't I?" instead of "aren't I?" and reluctantly corrected them. Not because they're are wrong, but because English is just stupid. If one of you educated types has a better answer, we'd love to know what goofball verb disagreement rule causes that one.

Of course, maybe I are wrong.

Photo Challenge Vacation

2011-08-02T19:20:00.003-05:00

Chris brought a '30 Day photo challenge' that I decided to complete during our stay at Cedar Campus, Michigan. You're supposed to take one topic/technique picture a day for a month, but since we only had 6 days, I fast tracked it. I'm posting the results [here]at my other blog. There's also a link in the right-hand sidebar.

It's not the usual assortment of pictures you usually see of other peoples vacations. And although there aren't any posed pictures of children giving each other bunny ears in front of beautiful landscapes (I have a bunch of those too,) I think you'll still be able to get an impression of what our week was like. It was fun to have an excuse to take close up shots of peoples feet, or chase after chipmunks, or throw frisbees at myself, or whatever was required in the name of art for that day.

Summer 2011 highlights

2011-07-30T10:54:00.002-05:00

Well, you may have noticed that we've been pretty quiet on the blog front this summer. It's not because we haven't done anything noteworthy, it's mostly because we're too exhausted to retell anything that's been going on.

The summer started with the kids both coming in first in their divisions at a soccer tournament. Complete with trophies, rain, soccer drama and everything. I'd like to know where my “Wait 6 hours for a rain delay... I mean rain cancellation” -trophy is, but hey, I'm not bitter.

This has been an action-packed, cinematic season for Habtamu. Through luck, general resourcefulness, and charity, he has found his way into Thor 3D, X-Men, Green Lantern 3D, Transformers 3D, Harry Potter 3D and possibly Kung Fu Panda2 but that was so many movies ago I can't remember. Captain America and Cowboys vs. Aliens would get him through July. I keep telling him that “this isn't normal” and that he shouldn't expect to spend every summer in the theater. He keeps looking at me like the hero waiting for a monologing villian to shut up.

H's other big event this summer is that he really wanted an iTouch before we left for camp in late July. He wanted it for the 10 hour car ride, and was willing to mow a lot of lawns to get it. Well, he beat his own expectations and picked up a glorious 8Gb iTouch in June which gave him plenty of time to pine for a NintendoDS before we actually left for vacation. More on the reason for that stint of jealousy is in the next paragraph. The learning curve of such “intuitive technology” for a boy who reads at a 3^rd grade level and his father who would much rather be blowing out Atari cartridges, has been steep but suffice it to say that not tying my credit card to his Apple account was my best financial decision this year. (You can set everything up with just gift cards but it's tricky. Apple reeeeally wants your cc.) The 'Buy' button is easy enough for him to avoid when it's not popping up mid-game, however 'Confirm Purchase' is just a little too long to bother reading and it's much easier just to push it and see what happens. Fortunately since he doesn't keep much more than 10 dollars in his account, the damages have been contained to one mispurchased Coby Calaye (?) album. Considering the boy pounds on that 'entertainment device' like crazed monkey, I'm calling that a win.

Yordanos generally isn't as gadget-driven as Habtamu, but she did lay down the cash for a NintendoDS a week ago. She then learned the hard way that the DS does not come with any games, which stinks under normal circumstances, but is a really tough lesson to learn when you've drain your savings account just to get the DS in the first place. Not surprisingly though, Yo socially engineered (ie charmed) a fistfull of games from a friend. That makes a lot more sense to me than spending 99 cents a pop, but I'm old school that way.

Yoyo also bought herself a BIKE at the beginning of June. Chris and I both approved of that purchase and she has shared her joy with the rest of the neighborhood, smiling and making housecalls to everyone she finds.

Honesty is not always the best policy

2011-06-29T21:14:00.003-05:00

Scene: Son leaps out of parked car and runs out to Dad without checking for traffic

Mom: What are you doing! You need to look both ways before you get killed!

Son: (immediately goes into guilty, self-flagellation mode) I KNOW! I'm just DUMB!

What Dad *should* have said: You're not dumb, you just need to keep your head on straight and be careful even when you're excited.

What Father-of-the-Year actually said: You're not dumb, you're just stupid. (Pause) Sometimes. (Awkward Pause) Like when you don't... think. ( More awkward pause) But I still love you!

I feel safer already

2011-06-12T15:42:00.001-05:00

Boring summer day? Have no fear, SuperYo to the rescue! TowelCape optional.

A league of his own

2011-05-21T09:02:00.001-05:00

Of course its amusing to me that he's more embarrassed and irritated that I pulled him over for a picture than he is about the color of his new uniform.
Shouldn't have any problem spotting him on the field... or from an airplane for that matter.
Smile!

Getting comfy

2011-05-08T20:01:00.001-05:00

We went to a plant nursery today that had a couple Adorondak chairs of various sizes. I believe Habtamu's eyes are bigger than his butt.

Your guess is as good as mine

2011-05-02T12:15:00.001-05:00

So I came home from work at lunchtime and pulled into the driveway to see this. Anyone want to take a stab at what I missed this morning? I'm guessing it wasn't left up there from someone sweeping the garage roof.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-27T12:01:00.000-05:00

Quick get that in the wash before mom gets home!

2011-04-26T19:48:00.002-05:00

Oh was YOUR practice cancelled because the field was a little wet? Must be nice, snowflake. Some of us have a tournament this weekend.

Is that all you got?

2011-03-29T15:03:00.002-05:00

I know that we've brought this up before, but for whatever reason, the "socialization" buzzword tripped my trigger again. I was talking with a friend about the real possibility of the kids going to a formal school next fall and the response was, "Good, then they'll get socialized."

Really?

I tried not to be a jerk, but despite my efforts I responded with something like, "I know! Because we go to this tiny church with no children and the kids play on an adult soccer team, and that's only when we let them out of the basement. I'm really looking forward to them finally being morally guided by children just as confused as they are instead of bugging me all the time."
Was that too snotty?

Seriously, is that all our educational system has going for it? The presence of other children? 12 years of education and all we have to offer the next generation about our experiences is that there were other kids there? That's the kind of thing I tell my children when they start whining about being dragged to some dinner party. Hey, at least there will be other kids there! And I bet there will be ice cream and corn dogs and Legos... but hopefully not together.

Only once in recent history did the topic of school come up and the response was, "Oh, you should try to get your kids enrolled in that new magnet school. The curriculum is going to be tech focused and your son would love it." See the difference? That was actual advice. I already know there's going to be children there so telling me that my kids will get socialized wouldn't help me make any kind of informed choice at all.

I know I'm just going to have to get over this. The "At least they'll get socialized" response is as ingrained into the American psyche as asking "How about that weather?" It's just what people noncommittally fill the verbal void with and everyone falls for it, including a whole lot of teachers. Because, hey, who doesn't want their kid socialized? That's something we can all agree on, right? It's like the lowest common denominator of our educational system. You may not learn anything, but by golly after 10 years of mandated education, you'll be socialized! At this point I'd like to note that gangs and the military also have very rigid social structures. If that's really all I expected my child to learn through adolescence, I suspect either of those routes would be more effective.

So here's what scares me... what if as a society that's really all we get from our years of schooling and this is just our way of collectively admitting it? I'm a firm believer in the old, "It's not what you know, it's who you know" adage. It's been proven over and over to me during my life thus far, so in that sense, yes, knowing the right people at the right time has been far more important to my career path than knowledge. Book smarts can't pitch an idea, or open a door, or point you toward that golden opportunity. Other people do that, and I think as a society we are trying to come to grips with that. How long do you have to be in an educational institution to meet the right people?

I'm not trying to devalue friendships or contacts or whatever we call all the people we communicate with now. I just hope that when my kids look back on their days at school (wherever that may be) they think about how some teacher got them on track for a career they love, or how they overcame their fear of public speaking, or how math or music or English finally 'clicked.' Anything but, "Well son, at least you'll get socialized just like me."

Breakin' It... Old School

2011-03-10T09:53:00.000-06:00

The kids have discovered they can check out music CDs from our library.

Things that drive parents crazy...

2011-02-28T21:36:00.001-06:00

... and responses from parents already on the edge.

Ok, so we're in church and a man walks up to the microphone with music in his hand. The pianist starts playing, and Habtamu leans over and asks, "Is that man going to sing?" You're a better person than I if you haven't just thought of a dozen smart-mouth responses to that.

I ended up whispering back to him, "No. He's going to yell at you in front of the whole church." That got a snort from my son.

---------------------------

Ok, so we're driving along and see some men with a post hole digger, digging a hole. Yordanos says, "I wonder what they're digging for... you don't see that everyday." I said, "I'm surprised that dirt isn't frozen." And she says, "What dirt?"

----------------------------

"Habtamu (or Yordanos), would you please x, y, or z?"
"Me?"
"Is your name _________? Then, yes, YOU."

OR
"No, your Aunt Tilly! Yes, YOU..."

-----------------------------

"Have you brushed your teeth?"
[silence while child trying to work around it without lying, because child has gotten in trouble for lying about this subject.]
"Ok, then make sure you do it right now."
"Me?"

-----------------------------

Ok, so, bedtime. Children are in bed, hugs and kisses received and given. Question floats down, "Mom? Which car are you taking tomorrow?"

I suppress the urge to say, "Why, why, WHY?" at increasing volumes. Instead I say, "The green one."

Child says, "Oh, ok. Good night, Mom. I love you."

-----------------------------

Ok, so, soccer practice is over and Habtamu runs out and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." Ok, fine. Lee and Yordanos wait in the car. And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. And finally, Yordanos asks, "When is he going to come out?" Lee answers, "When he's done, and hopefully not before."

So an Ethiopian boy walks into a bar...

2011-02-09T22:22:00.006-06:00

Habtamu, bless his heart, has the impulse control one typically comes to expect from teenagers, and generally no shortage of poor planning and bad ideas. However, tonight, I got a glimpse that maybe, just maybe, his sense of self-preservation will help him survive long enough to become an adult.

The kids and I were in the car coming home from soccer practice when Yoyo told this "heartwarming" story about a local junior high kid who got expelled for drinking a beer on the way to school. This brought up a lively discussion about why that was such a bad idea, and how his parents must feel, and (the best conversation starter ever) where a child would get such a drink anyway. I should clarify that it's my favorite part because neither child answered, "The back of the fridge after you've gone to bed, duh."

Habtamu knew of a place near the local ice cream shop that he figured had adult drinks in it. And he was absolutely right. The little "store" with the neon signs and two story Pabst Blue Ribbon mural does indeed serve alcohol. So I had to ask, "Do you think they would give you an adult drink if you went in there?" Yoyo said if you kinda covered your face and did something to make yourself taller you could probably get away with it, but Habti would have none of that. He knew there was more to it because there are plenty of short, old people. Eventually the kids came around to how 'your license' must work into the equation.

At which point my son, of his own volition, say to me, "Dad, even if you said it was totally ok and let me do whatever I want like eat candy for breakfast and dinner, I would never take your license plate and use it to get an adult drink."

"Really?" I said, suppressing the image of my son handing a bartender a nice shiny license plate, "I think you mean drivers license. Why would that be a bad idea?"

"Yes the little card. I would never take your drivers license to get adult drinks because I'd get grounded."

"Yes. Yes you would. For how long do you think?" I said deadpan. Again, trying to ride out the conversation knowing that I'll have plenty of time later to enjoy the mental picture of my son trying to pass himself off as a middle aged, white guy, with a vision restriction.

"Umm... Until I'm like... 25 or don't live in the house anymore."

I had to agree, "That sounds about right, but I suggest you don't find out."

You Make the Call!

2011-02-05T11:28:00.008-06:00

Time to vote! Which of these two sounds is the most annoying?

Digging Out

2011-02-03T11:27:00.000-06:00

Snowzilla, Snowmaggedon, Blizzard-o-mania... whatever you call it... passed through the other night. We woke to this Winter Wonderland.

This here is our deck and backyard. Snow as high as the railing. Usually, when the weather people say 12-18", they're wrong. But, huh.

And this is Lee's car. It took a couple of hours to dig out. It got harder after the snow piles were higher than our heads. Seemed like you couldn't reach the bottom of the snow.

A Penny Saved is 7 Cents Earned.

2011-01-25T10:05:00.000-06:00

How many quarters in a dollar?

12? [inches in a foot]
5,280? [feet in a mile]
2,000? [pounds in a ton]

There are 4 quarters in a dollar.
How much is a quarter worth?

30 cents?

How much is a penny worth?

7?

Change comes in 1 cent, 5 cents, 10 cents, and 25 cents.
How much is a dime worth?

20?

[I think until a certain child thinks money is important, I will keep getting randomly generated answers.]

Antsy Pantsy Dance

2011-01-07T17:05:00.003-06:00

There's a couple interesting things about this video. One is Yordi's ability to play soccer without losing the rhythm. The other is the way she takes her brother (in orange) to school while doing so.
Apologies in advance for the video quality. My phone lens was smudged and shoots in SuprCrap on good days anyway... What's not audible is the iPod pumping out vintage Michael Jackson in the background, but you'll get the idea.

Whiny the Clown

2011-01-06T09:58:00.000-06:00

After reading about Junie B. Jones dressing up like "Screamy the Clown", Yordanos was inspired to do this:

She called herself "Whiny the Clown" and ran around the house trying to scare us. Sometimes you just have to shake your head, don't you?

Out of Phase

2011-01-04T10:32:00.000-06:00

I can only assume, by these photos, that my niece is out of phase with the rest of us. Is she partly in our world, but partly in sub-space? Is she a baby Nosferatu? I only notice this phenomenon in pictures... well, that's not strictly true... one minute she'll be there, and you blink, and she's GONE.

Thriller Christmas

2011-01-04T09:15:00.000-06:00

I'm so glad nobody over-reacted this Christmas. Oh. Um. Er. Maybe one of us did.

In case you didn't know, the Michael Jackson Wii dance game comes with a sparkly glove... in case you didn't get yours back in the 80's.

Daily Snippet...

2011-01-03T18:22:00.000-06:00

Yordanos is down to her last 4 baby teeth, and 3 of them are currently loose. She showed me one of them that was hurting, and got more and more frustrated about it.

"It is hurting my law... my... law... my... JAW... my mouth... MY PIE-HOLE. WhatEVER."

Still has me laughing.

We got back to school today, and for a Monday (not only a Monday, but a Monday after a 12 day break), I have to say it went very well. They didn't forget too much... we did some math review, but everything else was fine. In fact, I've noticed that after taking vacations, Habtamu's reading seems to get better. Don't tell him, because we can't be taking breaks all the time, but it's good to know that with the reading he does on his own is bearing fruit. Yordanos and I concentrated on some gaps in mathematical understanding that I've noticed. We played with manipulatives until she saw the pattern I was trying to teach. We'll have to go over it some more tomorrow, but she catches on quickly.

After school, the children seemed to not be able (willing?) to stop bothering, annoying, poking, touching, etc. each other. I heard Habtamu say "Stop-uh!" for the 87th time to Yordanos, and I said, "Oh, did she pick your nose for you?" He snorted, then quickly remembered he was trying to be angry. I kept right on saying, with a straight face, how I can understand the frustration of somebody else picking your nose without your permission, and how HORRIBLE it must have been. Meanwhile, Yordanos is laughing so hard she's crying, and I walked out of the room before I broke character.

Ah, a day in the life.

Tis the Season for Sledding

2010-12-24T13:36:00.004-06:00

Star Wars: More influential than Rome

2010-11-08T10:48:00.004-06:00

So the other evening at dinner I asked my son what he was studying in math. He told me he was doing decimals and Star Wars numbers.

"Star Wars numbers?" I asked, "What do you mean?"

"You know," he said, "like Star Wars Eye and Star Wars Ivy. I can count to 1000."

...?

"Oh, gotcha. Star Wars I, and Star Wars IV," I said, "Yes, those are important to learn."

-------
PS) It's also notable that Star Wars math has it's limitations, other than just missing a 'zero.' For instance Star Wars II + Star Wars III does not equal Star Wars V. Just ask my wife.

What's black and fuzzy and can't stop smiling?

2010-10-25T08:45:00.001-05:00

Here's a little Monday morning warm fuzzy.
So this little Sesame Street video got it's 15 minutes of fame on the internet recently. If you haven't seen "I love my hair" here it is:

(Pardon the video formating, I'm new at this...)

Of course, the most interesting part of the sketch for me is the story behind it. Just to spoil it, one of the head writers wrote it for his adopted Ethiopian daughter (as if I wasn't all misty already.)
Click here for the interview.

Daddy wasn't born yesterday

2010-10-24T16:44:00.000-05:00

I was in the bathroom this morning when Yordi waltzed in. She saw me preening in the mirror and told me that I looked great. I said I would be finished as soon as I yanked this one particularly irritating hair.

"Really, Dad, your hair looks fine as it is," she smiles.

"Thanks, but this one is grey and it's bugging me."

"Gah... Dad. Everybody at church has grey hair. It's okay." She smiles and bats her eyes reassuringly.

"Um... that's very thoughtful honey. Wait. You just want me out of the bathroom don't you?"

"Yeah, I need to brush my teeth."

Sleeping in Seattle

2010-10-15T11:31:00.000-05:00

Lee and I recently got a week long vacation in Seattle, without the children. I KNOW, right? Well, it was wonderful. We walked and talked and finished sentences, had whole conversations, picked up ideas from the day before and, in general, remembered why we liked each other. It's so easy for that core of the relationship to get buried with all the needs and demands of the OTHER PEOPLE that live in our house.

I was a little worried about flying. The last time I was on an airplane was coming back from Ethiopia, and that was a horrible trip... worth it, don't get me wrong... but, horrible. The flight to Seattle was reasonably set at 4 hours... instead of 16... so that helped. Lee got me a window seat, which I didn't want... me of the tiny bladder... but it turned out to be really nice. The whole flight was clear and blue, and seeing the horizon curving pleased me. From up there, water towers looked like jellyfish and wind turbines looked like wispy flowers. I loved watching the land undulate across the country. (I think we were in Canadian airspace at least part of the time.) Here is where the mountains stopped for a bit.

The reason for our visit to Seattle was a conference that Lee was attending. With the conference, we got a dinner in the Space Needle at dusk. The people we were with had speculative conversations about whether the top portion actually was rotating or not. I'm sure the open bar had nothing to do with that particular line of reasoning.

And here's the city as the sun was setting. I took plenty of pictures of this as the evening wore on. I kept walking around and around the circle. It was mesmerizing.

More later. Possibly. Probably.

Careful which way you launch that conversation

2010-10-06T19:19:00.006-05:00

I read this article today about how children who have a "conversation friend" learn better. They figure out reading quicker because they've already heard the words used in context. They also gain better problem solving and social skills if they have someone available with which to talk through their thoughts. The article then lamented that the role of the conversation friend isn't being filled by parents any more, exacerbated by the economy, both parents working, longer shifts, etc... What I took away from the article was, as a parent, we need to create opportunities for conversation time with our children and relish those times when they happen. Sounds basic enough, but it's something I've kind of gotten away from as I've become one of those in the 'longer shifts' category.

So tonight, I had that article percolating in my noodle as I picked up the kids for soccer. And, I think that's the reason I left talk radio on instead of switching it to the top40 station the kids usually prefer. The kids asked why, but accepted my answer of, "sometimes I'm in the mood for music, other times I'm in the mood for talking." Maybe the kids would pick up on something and it would spark a conversation that didn't involve deciphering pop lyrics, or on the other hand, the talking might mellow them out a bit before bed. Either way, I welcomed the change. The radio host had latched on to something (or a series of things, honestly I don't really remember) to be highly incensed about and he was very animated.

After listening a bit, Yo piped up from the back seat, "Dad, what's a launching pad?" Perfect! An excellent question asked because this guy on the radio used the phrase. So I stumbled through the definition in Tired-Daddy-ese. My explanation went something like, "Well, a real launching pad is where a rocket or missile sits before you shoot it. But he's using it to mean a place where something big and important starts." "Oh, like how a rocket starts slow and then gets faster and faster," chimed in Habtamu. "Well, no, in this case I think he's talking about something that starts quickly too, but you've got the right idea." The radio guy was actually talking about Afghanistan being a 'launching pad' for terrorist attacks, but of all of the words in that statement, I was glad that 'launching pad' is what got Yordi's wheels rolling.

A couple minutes go by and the radio blathers on.

"Dad," I hear from the back seat. "What's a drug dealer?"

*Sigh*

I'm afraid my answer this time wasn't nearly as eloquent...

A Day in the Life

2010-09-26T10:45:00.001-05:00

H: Let's play basketball!

Y: OK!

H: (paraphrased) You're doing it wrong!
Y: (paraphrased) No, I'm not!
H: (paraphrased) Fine. You want to do it wrong? OK!

Y: You can play by yourself then!

H: You SAID you wanted to play!

Y: Mom! Mom! He's telling me what to do!

Y: Mom! Mom!

Y: Mom! Stoooooooooooop!

Y: Mom! I'm trying to stay angry!

Y: Mom! Stop making me laugh!

Y: StooooooooOOOOOOoooooooop!

Y: Oomba. (Ethiopian equivalent of a pout.) I'm not talking to you!

30 seconds later...

Meanwhile...

Re-Wired

2010-09-23T10:44:00.000-05:00

Those of you who have become parents know that some major re-wiring goes on in your brain because of them. There are, of course, other things that help change you (passage of time, maturity, God: not necessarily in that order), but in my experience, becoming a parent made the most life altering changes in my brain.

Patience, Patience.
How many of us have prayed for patience. I would tell people half-jokingly, "Don't do it! Don't pray for THAT!" Because, guess what? You don't automatically become patient. It's not a gift that is yours for the taking, purchasing, begging, borrowing, OR stealing. You learn it through repeatedly being in situations that make you want to lose your mind, blow your stack, erupt like a volcano. Well, you get the drift. And if anyone can tell me a better proving ground for learning patience than having children, I'd love to hear it. The practice of patience is daily, hourly, minutely... and secondly on some days. One of the major things that stops me in my impatient tracks is the realization that I am modeling behavior for my children. ARGH. I HAVE to take the high road if I expect them to see how to live patiently. Some days, for me, patience is keeping my mouth tightly shut when I want to say totally useless and unhelpful things like "Hurry up!" and "We've got to go NOW!" and "What is taking you so long?!" and "You should have done that earlier!" These only serve to add fuel to a fire that is beyond my control. The invariable answer from the recipients of these phrases is "I AM HURRYING!" and then their increased frustration, which makes them MOVE SLOWER.

Unconditional Love
We know that God loves us unconditionally, but we never realize what that means until presented with people that you HAVE to love because they are yours. In our case, getting older children with a history, memory, past, personalities already in place, created much opportunity for learning about love. It makes sense that we did not all love each other right away. We had all just met. And, while Lee and I had a choice in choosing each other as mates, bearing or adopting children gives you little choice. You get what you get. True in any way you create a family. So, now you've got these little strangers in your house, whether a baby born to you, adopted by you, depending on you. And you've got to make the 1st move of loving them. For me, after a couple of weeks I realized that these children were going to be our children forever... and then I had to keep realizing it every day for awhile. We had not had children in our house for that long before, ever, and I'd wake up at night and think, "There are children in the house!" That thought filled me with dread and wonder and fear and joy all at the same time. After a couple of months I realized that I would give my life for theirs, but grudgingly, because it was the right thing to do. After a couple more months, the grudgingly part went away and was replaced by GLADLY. (God never had the grudging part, I'm sure.)

Caring More and Less
There are many things I used to care about, but don't anymore. You can imagine what they are... Lee and I were alone, with 2 good jobs for 10 years. Alone in our quiet house. Able to do anything, anytime. Go anywhere, anytime. I miss those things sometimes. I miss being able to complete a sentence, a thought, an idea without being interrupted. I don't think I've even been to the bathroom in the last 2 years without someone needing me urgently as soon as I close the door. And yet, all this needing me is fleeting. I know that some day, they will not come to me at night because they had a bad dream, because they feel sick, because they heard a noise. I know, or at least desire, that they will grow and mature into a man and woman of God... people that care about the important things (God, other people, injustice, peace) and care less about the unimportant things (power, money, position, video games, TV). In wanting to teach these things, I have been changed as well. I thought and hoped I didn't care about money, until we went to one income so I could stay home with the children, then went to a lower one salary when Lee got laid off and had to find a new job. It took some adjustment, but I certainly care less about money now that we've got less of it. We've got riches in other areas that are much more important.

I know there are many more ways we have been re-wired. What are the ways you have been changed?

These pics have nothing to do with the post, just thought you'd like to see them.

Half Empty or Half Full?

2010-09-05T09:04:00.002-05:00

I forget what Habtamu even said one day, but I called him "Mr. Glass Half Empty." He didn't know what I meant, so Lee volunteered to demonstrate.

He asked the kids, "Is this glass half full?"

They answered "Yes."

"Is is half empty?"

"Yes."

"Well, which is it? Half full or half empty?"

Habtamu answered glumly, "Half empty."

And Yordanos chirped happily, "Half full!"

And there, my friends, is the truth of my kids' personalities in a nutshell.

When I announced to my family that I had finally swum the length of the pool (25 yards) without taking a breath, Lee and Yordanos cheered. Habtamu's comment? "Huh. I bet lots of people can do that." Lee shook his head and said, "All that water in the pool, and it's STILL half empty."

Can you guess what kind of a personality I had as a child? Hello 1st grade! (Mom? Were there no re-take days available?)

It gives me hope that if we're born with a "glass half empty" sort of personality, we can sometimes, with God's help become "half full" people.

Inanimate Love

2010-09-02T08:34:00.003-05:00

I finally broke down and bought a food processor. There have been many times I have not made something because it needed a food processor, OR I tried whatever it was in the blender, and it just didn't work right.

I can't help but love the cheerful red color, and this little cutie has been used nearly every day since I got it.

This appliance also gets a daily workout...

But, of course, this is my favorite...

Which kitchen helpers make your life easier?

This was NOT posted by Lee. Anyone know how to change that once it's posted?

Happy Belated Birthday

2010-09-01T08:28:00.001-05:00

I am the world's worst birthday party thrower. I don't care about themes, prize bags, or raffia decorations. I know, being crafty, I SHOULD care, but I just don't. This year, I asked a friend to make the cakes, and they were totally awesome.

Cakes of chocolately awesomeness:

My hastily thrown together event went surprisingly well. It was horribly HOT, we were at the park for 2 hours and then strategically retreated home to sit in the A/C. I know, I know... I'm RUINING birthdays for my children by being a Grinch. Don't tell them, though, because they had a great time. :)

Here's Habtamu receiving a bag of things that he'd left at our friends' house... his own hat and his own sunglasses. He also got a baseball game for the Wii.

Here's Yordanos receiving every Hello Kitty thing on the market... thanks Grandma! Lee said, "Somewhere, Hello Kitty is walking around with no clothes."

And here's one of the happiest sights for my children. Grandma and Grandpa arriving... laden with food and gifts. Grandpa let the children dig out one handful of coins from his change jar and keep it. It was something his Grandpa used to let him do from time to time. It's amazing how much change can be held with the right motivation. I think both kids got over $12.

For my daughter, her baby cousin is the BEST THING EVER. I rarely get to hold my niece.

She's pretty much as cute as these babies... my "little" ones.

Shadow Warriors

2010-08-28T09:16:00.001-05:00

One of the joys of soccer is seeing your children learn and be excited about playing. The delight these girls have as they take the field is palpable. They run out onto the field with huge smiles and energetic hops... like lambs leaping just for the fun of it.

Once the game starts, though, they are all business. Focused. Tough. Last year, Yordanos (Yo-Yo to her teammates) took a ball to the face in the last few minutes of a game. It looked like her mouth was hurt, but she didn't stop playing. The game ended and she comes over and I see that both her upper and lower lips were cut and bleeding from the ball hitting her.

"Honey!" I say, all concerned, "Why didn't you tell Coach you were bleeding?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "Mom! I didn't want to get pulled from the game in the last 2 minutes."

I've seen her crumple to the ground after being tripped, pushed, hit in the stomach with a ball. She usually bounces right back up and keeps playing. A couple of times she has lain there a little bit crying, but still she gets up with renewed vigor and KEEPS PLAYING.

People, this is so NOT ME as a child.

Last weekend the kids played in a tournament in Elgin. Here are the U-12 (Under 12 year old) girls going to warm up for their 1st game. They played 3 games... losing one and winning two, which was enough to get them into the finals. Getting to the finals is something you hope for and dread. Hope for, because, well, COOL, you'll get a trophy no matter what. But dread, because, AW MAN, we have to wait around for 3 hours for the final.

The girls played their hearts out, and were briefly in the lead, but they couldn't hold onto it and lost 2-1. Here is Yo-Yo and her coach. That is the 2nd place trophy. Can you believe that? That thing is huge. This is her 2nd trophy.

Habtamu handled the "my sister got a trophy and I didn't" much better this time than last time. His team, a co-ed U-14, won one, lost one and tied one in the tournament... not quite enough to go on. They kept the ball mostly on the "right" side, meaning they had dozens of attempts to score, but just couldn't do it. Their coach told them (loudly) after the game, "I don't care if the score is 1,000 to 1... you keep playing like it's 0-0....you keep running and trying!" I love him.

Good Thing...

2010-08-26T09:15:00.000-05:00

Good thing he doesn't have to worry about being President of the U.S. It's the only job unavailable to him.

If someone could explain adolescent boys to me, I'd appreciate it.

Also, to all you kids out there... if you're going to take pictures of yourself with the camera, assume that they will be posted on your parents' blog.

Cheers!

But enough about us

2010-07-13T20:32:00.004-05:00

A couple weeks ago a co-worker of mine mentioned that she had seen an article in our local paper about another couple adopting from Ethiopia. Although this person has never steered me wrong at the office, my 'baloney alarm' went off immediately. First of all, "local Ethiopian news" is a complete oxymoron out here. Secondly, although it doesn't happen as often as it used to, good-natured folks would catch wind of some Africa story (usually adoption related but not always) and tell us about the one detail they kinda remembered.

Stuff like this:
"Hey Gardner, where are your kids from again? Africa, right?"
"Yes. Ethiopia."
"I think the Jones's went on a mission trip to Africa back in the mid-eighties. It might have been to Ethiopia. You should ask them about it."
"..." "Um... ok, I'll do that."

And thus my friend is now freed from all that bottled up "I-know-something-about-Africa tension" and I am left trying to figure out if I even know who the Jones are (or were?).

I know this comes with the territory. You tell people you work with computers, you get computer woes. Expecting moms get TMI on other peoples pregnancies. Doctors hear medical stories, etc, etc... I'm not knocking the intention, just the execution. And honestly, most of the people I come in contact with these day are now pretty informed and/or invested in my family, making it a non-issue. Oh, and on a related note, I've been pleasantly surprised at how many folks have been pronouncing my children's names correctly lately. I don't want you folks to think I didn't notice. Kudos!

So anyway, since most of the second-hand adoption stories have petered out, I was really skeptical to hear this report about a newspaper article involving a local international adoption. And not just an African adoption, but an Ethiopian adoption. And not just an Ethiopian adoption, but an older Ethiopian adoption. And not just that but the adoption of a 6 year old girl!?

I call shenanigans. Surely you've mistaken someone else's story for, say uh, maybe, MINE.

So I jumped on the ol' internet and 30 seconds later found this article. In case the link disappears, it's about a family in our neighboring county who has been matched with their 6 year old daughter in Ethiopia. They're waiting for the call to come get her.

Click Here for the Article

I promptly went back to my coworker and apologized for ever doubting her. The next thing I did was write the reporter a hurried email that sounded more like an insecure freshman botching a date than a viable invitation. It went something like, "Dear Mr. Stanley, I'd like to meet those people you interviewed. So if, like, they want to, you know, get together or something, that'd be cool, but you know, if they, like, don't, then, that's cool too. I totally understand." I probably could have just posted, "OMG, ME TOO!!!" in the articles comment section and been more coherent, but fortunately Mr. Stanley was able to cut to the chase and relay my contact info.

Two days later I received an email from them excited to hear from us and thirsty for information. I did my best not to spew too much advice, and I only shared Chris's and my first reactions after reading the article.
-I told them to start their cardio workouts now. The 8000 ft. elevation of Addis Ababa can be a show stopper. If I could do one thing differently, that I had any control over, I'd have hit the treadmill harder.
-Chris suggested trying to get a picture of the inside of their child's mouth so a dentist could give them a better approximation of her age.

I hope things work out and we can get together sometime. I'd love to tell them that story I heard about the Jones from the mid eighties...

News Flash: English is still stupid two years later

2010-07-07T20:57:00.007-05:00

Wreaking havoc with prepositions:

Dad: Don't touch the door handle! If you pull it twice, the car alarm will go off.
Habtamu: No Dad. (Eye roll) The alarm go on.
Dad: That's what I meant... when I said... it goes off.
H: But it goes on. Open the door and the alarm go on.
Dad: I know. When the alarm goes on, we say it goes off.
H: (blink) But it goes on.
Dad: I know. The alarm goes off. English is stupid.

Meanwhile...

Dad: I'll go rent a movie for tonight.
Yordanos: Oh Dad! Can we see the dog movie!
Dad: No, Marmaduke is out at the theaters.
Yordanos: Can we get the DVD?
Dad: No, it's not out yet.
Yordanos: WHYYY-YUH?
Dad: (Leer) because it's still out at the movie theater.
Yo: But you said it was out!
Dad: It is.
Yo: Then lets get it!
Dad: We can't. It's not out yet.
Yo: *Huff* *Pout* You said it was out!
Dad: Ok, it's still out IN the theaters, not out OF the theaters. So it's not out ON DVD yet. Get it?
Yo: (Gives me the 'I understand I ain't gonna see the movie' look)

Dramatic Entry into Adolescence

2010-07-05T12:43:00.000-05:00

Oh, yes, dear readers, we are deep in the throws of adolescence. The boy child has been rapidly turning into the man/child. Man in body, boy in spirit. I believe Habtamu is now taller than me. I'm trying not to think about it. Yordanos is now in young lady phase... sometimes "You come here right now, Young Lady!" and sometimes, "You are becoming such a kind young lady."

I was reminded the other day how far we have actually come with overcoming childish behaviors... I should say we ALL have been working on this. Turns out I had my own share of childish behaviors to overcome after seeing how obnoxious they were in children. If I don't want my child to x,y, or z, then I can't x,y,or z. Nuts.

Back to the man/child... "Wha?"

He's desperately trying to grow up, and we're trying to give him more freedom. He recently learned a big lesson about lying and a big lesson about messing up, fessing up, and moving on. We're getting there. He seems to grow up a little every day and I realize how quickly time is flying by. He is very interested in "When I'm 16 can I ___?" and "When I'm 18 can I ____?" "How old do you have to be to do _____?" Part of us is trying to hold on tightly and say "NOoooooooooooooooooooooooo! You can't be thinking about that YET." and the other part is saying "Well, we've got to let go of some things." Habtamu will often say things like, "So, you want to control me?" and I'll say, "No. I want YOU to control yourself." And he'll say, "HOW I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?" "Well, pay attention to what I'm telling you now so you can make good choices later."

A good choice for this picture would have been to smile naturally, so you don't look like a rabid badger.

Holy Smokes!

2010-07-04T20:40:00.000-05:00

Is it July already?

I think this is the longest we've gone without blogging here... ever.

I'll start you out with pics from Yordanos' Track and Field Camp in early June. I don't think she had any fun. Nope, not one little bit...

Pants on Fire

2010-05-31T18:39:00.000-05:00

Me: Did you eat breakfast?

Habtamu: Yes.

Me: (Go into kitchen, see Yordanos using the last of the milk. Think: "Huh. I didn't think there was enough milk for TWO bowls of cereal.")

Me: Hey, Habtamu?

H: Yeah?

Me: Did you say you ate breakfast?

H: Yes.

Me: What did you have?

H: A banana.

Me: Oh, ok. You need to eat a little more. You've got a soccer game this morning.

H: OH... ERG... BUT... MOOOOOOOOOOOOM......................... (said in whiny, whiny voice)

Me: Just do it. (Now thinking to myself "I wonder if there's a banana peel in the garbage. Should I check? Should I become THAT mom, who checks up on every little thing?")

Me: Hey, Habtamu?

H: Yeah?

Me: You had a banana?

H: Yeah.

Me: Where's the banana peel?

H: What?

Me: Where's the banana peel? You said you had a banana for breakfast.

H: Yeah, I did.

Me: Ok. Where's the peel?

H: Oh, I thought you were talking about what I ate last night.

Me: Oh, uh-huh. I think you lied to me.

H: FINE! I lie about EVERYTHING!

Me: Sigh. Why even BOTHER to lie about something so small?

Easter 2010... the Family Photo Fiasco

2010-05-01T20:46:00.000-05:00

Just TRY to get a good picture of the whole family... when one of the adolescents refuses to even try for a good smile. Just you try it. We will gladly show these pictures to any of Habtamu's future girlfriends...

Take Someone Else's Kids to Work Day = SUCCESS

2010-04-29T23:12:00.002-05:00

Excuse me, but I believe you're wearing my sash

I meant to blog about this earlier, but last week the kids went to 'Take your child to work day' at the Sears corporate office. No. I don't work for Sears now, but I know a guy... Anyway, it's brilliant. Sears gets to do marketing and product recognition research on a youth audience for a full day. The kids get food, meet some celebrities, and come home with a bag of stuff (Erin O'Connor, Miss Illinois 2009 was not IN the goodie bag...) And mom gets a day off. Everybody's happy.

The problem with having 2000 songs on your iPod

2010-04-22T23:14:00.000-05:00

Scene opens with Habtamu and Lee in the car listening to Lee's MP3 player on random. An unfamiliar song begins.

H: (with trigger-happy finger on the NEXT button) Do you like this song?

L: (Song's Intro continues) I like how it starts but honestly I can't remember what song it is. What is the name of it?

H: I don't know. It's your music.

L: Well you can read now, what does the screen say.

H: (Squints at the music player) Cawd Heart SomethingSomethingSomething

L: Cahd? Like... C-O-D? Cold???

H: Yes. Cold Heart.

L: (brain searches by decade for a cold heart song while the song plays... still no lyrics) I don't know any cold heart songs. Is there more to the title?

H: Yes.

L: What's the rest of the title. Read it to me.

H: I can't.

L: Sound it out.

H: (getting frustrated) I can't. The letters are moving. I can't read it.

L: (realizing that long song titles start scrolling after a couple seconds) Ok, well spell it out for me.

H: C-O-L-D-H-A-R-D-B-I-T-C...

L: Yeah, you know what, lets just skip this song.

H: Why? You don't like it?

L: Not in the mood anymore. NEXT!

Aaaaand Scene

Yordanos in April

2010-04-20T22:57:00.003-05:00

April 2008 - Ethiopia

April 2009 - USA

2010 - USA

Habtamu in April

2010-04-20T22:32:00.003-05:00

April 2008 - Ethiopia

April 2009 - USA

April 2010

Fooling Around

2010-04-08T09:53:00.000-05:00

How do you explain our strange customs to children from another country? Here's the wiki version of April Fool's Day.

Every day I have the children write a journal entry. On April 1st, Habtamu's and my conversation went like this:

H: Hey Mom? Is it April 1st?

Me: (thinking quickly for so early in the morning) Nope. (Said with totally straight face.)

H: So.... what is it, then? March 32nd?!

Me: Yep.

H: (sighs) Man, this is the longest month!

I let him in on the joke soon, and he tried it on his sister, who TOTALLY didn't understand what was going on. Once she got it, she was on board.

This is the kind of day MADE for the girl whose standard daily joke is this:

Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt!

Guess who?
Who?
Chicken poo!

Guess why?
Why?
Chicken pie!

Or this:

(Feel a tap on the back.)
(Turn around, only Y is there.)
It wasn't me!

Channeling the Sweathogs

2010-03-24T13:17:00.000-05:00

Anybody remember Vinnie Barbarino? Wha? Wher? Who? Why?

We've got our very own Ethiopian version now. I just want to tell the boy that he doesn't have to FAKE stupid, because there will be plenty of times in his life when stupid WILL happen. (Just as in all our adolescent lives!)

For now, I concentrate on getting him to AT LEAST add the T on the end of "WHA?" to not SOUND ignorant.

Also, this morning, Lee and I were talking about something unrelated to the children. Yordanos says from the other room, "Mom, I can HEAR you." I said, "OK?" She answers back, "I know you were talking about us." I say, "Why do you think that?" She says, "You said 'whine and complain'." Lee then says, "You know, you're not the only people in the world who whine and complain."

It Takes a Village

2010-03-18T14:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday

2 Moms had to get
5 kids from
3 different families from school to home to
2 different functions at church and
1 Mom to a meeting.

Mission accomplished. Moms rock!

New Website... testing... testing...

2010-03-02T16:45:00.000-06:00

I wanted a place to put my recipes and whatnot related to cooking. I'm by no means a great cook, but I have learned to use spices and can now make flavorful and healthy food. (The two are not mutually exclusive.) I try to give the caloric info when I've got it. I'm in love with Weight Watchers, so I try to give points info too.

Join me here to try some new recipes, and let me know what you think if you try them. Email any recipes you might like posted to newcooking(at)gmail(dot)com.

Chris :)

Spicy Meat and Rice

2010-02-18T12:40:00.000-06:00

1 lb. ground turkey
1 T olive oil
2 onions
1 T crushed garlic
1 t. black pepper
1 t. red pepper flakes
2 t. cumin
2 t. coriander
1 t. salt
2 t. ginger
1 t. chicken base in 1 c. water
1 can (14.6 oz.) crushed or diced tomatoes
Brown rice, cooked OR whole-wheat pasta, cooked.

Brown meat and set aside. Brown onions and garlic in olive oil. Add spices (substitute spices based on what you have in your cupboard), meat, chicken base w. water and tomatoes. Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Put 1 cup meat mixture over 1/2 cup pasta or rice.

I flew half way around the world for this?

2010-02-13T08:28:00.000-06:00

YoYo - yelling in the hallway: UGH! Where's my stupid necklace?

Lee - yelling from the bathroom: Which one?

YoYo: The stupid one!

Lee: Ah, I see. I was just asking because you have like 600 necklaces.

YoYo - stomping around: ARGH! You know, the one mommy gave me! I can't find it anywhere!

Lee - being oh so helpful: Well, where did you last see it?

YoYo: YOUR BUTT!

Lee: ...

Lee: You're going to have to keep looking because it's not there now.

Aaaaand CURTAIN!

Ethiopian Gothic

2010-02-11T10:39:00.002-06:00

March 2008 - This photo was in the first set of pictures we were sent from Ethiopia.
It's the one where we decided that this 'sibling set' would no longer be 'those poor children' but become 'our kids.' We analyzed it over and over again. We tried to read their true personalities through their eyes. And like most parents, we loved them before they knew we existed.

February 2010 I took this after a recent indoor soccer game. I still often get questioned about whether the kids are adjusting to America or not. One of these days I'm going to answer, "No, you know, they're really fighting it." The evidence; however, points to the contrary. And note how all the hard work Habtamu has put into his "totally unimpressed" look is finally paying off! (and yes, that's a deliberate pose on his part.)

Say What?

2010-02-09T20:42:00.003-06:00

It's funny and scary and embarrassing to hear my children use phrases I've said and they've heard from other sources. Now I've started shaking my fist in the air and saying, "Don't you use my own words back at me, young man/little lady!" Here are some recent examples.

Last Sunday we went ice skating with Lee's sister. Yordanos called to me from the side of the rink as I was going by. And, I, being a "rule follower" had to keep going around in the orderly counter-clockwise direction until I came around again. She had lost patience by that time and called, "You're just wasting my time!" Lee's sister looked at me with a cocked head and I grinned sheepishly, because I KNEW that came from me, except I usually say, "You're just wasting your own time." So, hey, her grasp of English is getting good enough to extrapolate what to say in ANY situation.

The kids were playing house soccer with a small nerfy sort of ball and I heard Yordanos say, "Whew! I need a breather!" I don't remember EVER saying that in my life, but since she's in soccer, etc... it's probably come up.

Whenever we see teenagers with baggy pants, smoking, pierced, or in any other way acting thuggy, the kids say, "They're just trying to be cool, right?"

The other night at dinner Habtamu asked if he could do something (I don't remember what) and I answered no, because (I don't remember why.) Great story so far, huh? Anyway, his ultimate response was, "Dammit!"

Now, I'm positive he didn't get this from me. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer.

So I said, "Well, the good news is that you used that word correctly. The bad news is that it's not a good word to say. We don't use that word."

And from the kitchen, Yordanos yells, "Habtamu, did you say 'damn'?! You're not supposed to say 'damn'!"

And we all busted up, laughing, because really, isn't that what makes families fun?

Plagiarism - Now for HomeSchoolers, too.

2010-02-08T11:29:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I think my kids must think I'm dumb as a box of rocks. To illustrate:

"It wasn't me."

"I SAW you."

"Oh, well, I was only trying to... (insert lame-o excuse here)"

Take, for example, my son's new found desire to be cool by not wearing his shin guards to soccer practice... just like the other pre-teen boys. I made sure he had his shin guards with him for practice last night, but like the old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but cannot make him drink." Lee took the kids to practice, and the 1st thing I hear when I get home is from the narc, AKA: little sister.

"Habtamu forgot his shin guards."

"No he didn't, he had them with him... they're not here."

"No, he LEFT them at practice."

At which point I turn on my son, who is already raining down brimstone on his own head, and I ask calmly (No, really! I did!) "Why were you not wearing them?"

"I KNOW, I KNOW, I'm stupid and I don't listen well!" This, as you may well know, is a classic defense mechanism. It's short hand for I-messed-up-everyone-hates-me-now.

So, this morning I was checking Habtamu's journal entry. I have them write a story for me every day with a picture. It can be about anything, but has to be their own story. I pick up Habtamu's. He's got a story that sounds really familiar. I ask, "Did you copy this out of a book?" He says, "No. I used the book to know how to spell the names." I say, "Where is that book?" All the time knowing full well which book and which story he copied. He got defensive and slammed out of the room to shower. Later, after he had calmed down, I talked to him about the shin guards and the copying, and told him I would love him forever and that NOTHING he could do would change that. Then I tickled his side and all was suddenly right in his world.

We're making progress. One of the biggest lessons for ME was not to yell. No matter what. Yelling has exacerbated a problem every. single. time. If I feel yelling coming on, I leave the room and say something like, "I need a time out." The kids don't ever like to feel like I'm angry at them and will act out accordingly (ie: worse) if they see that I am. However, I DO get angry at some of the things they do, and walking away is the best option if I feel I cannot speak rationally at that moment. Ah, for supreme patience to be mine. I've prayed for patience before and gotten lots of practice time. It stinks, but when I think how much MORE patient I am than I was, I'm glad I asked for it.

The Cinema pt II: No No, the OTHER Avatar

2010-02-07T08:41:00.000-06:00

Clan Gardner is a big fan of Avatar: The last Airbender, more commonly known as 'That Nickelodeon Avatar.' The kids have watched through all 3 seasons about 400 times. Habtamu and I had already had a conversation about how the Avatar movie that everyone is talking about is not about Avatar the Airbender. It's about blue people (NO! NOT AIRBENDERS,) it's PG-13, it's too expensive, and he's never going to see it. He was fine with that because, after all, it was the wrong Avatar. It's probably worth noting that the kids had no idea that movies show at the theater first and then come to video. So, it was easier to tell H that he would never see the Blue Avatar than it was to explain the whole movie distribution cycle, guess at the DVD release schedule, etc...
One of the joys of being an American child these days is that you don't have to wait for sequels as long as your super uncool parents don't ever let you watch anything new. And until this weekend, they hadn't.
So I closed the door on Avatar and then predictably came back around to it. I figured, you know, what better first movie than a 3D, surreal, action-packed, winter blockbuster that your Dad told you you'd never ever see? Empire Strikes Back probably wasn't my first movie, but it's the first one I remember. We were running late and came in just as the TaunTaun was getting split open. Like I said, whatever movies I saw before that were over-written in my memory that day.
So here's me trying to convince my son that he wants to see this movie even if I'm there. "Ok, well, I think we're going to see Avatar on Monday."
"Why?"
"What do you mean why? It's a movie."
"It's the wrong one.""Well, I know it's not the Avatar you know, but I think you'll like this one too."
"Why?"
"Well, it's supposed to be very exciting."
"Hm."
"It's almost 3 hours long."
"3 hours? Ooo..." (The kids still equate quantity with quality programming, but regardless, now I've got his attention.)
"Look, it's should be good."
"You've seen it?"
"Urk! No I haven't seen it. It's at the theater." (temperature rising...)
"Then how do you know it's good?" (This is all coming from a boy who has never met a TV show or a sofa cushion he didn't like.)
"Ack! Gah! Listen. Uncle Paul saw it and said it was really really good. Ok?"
"Oh. Ok."
Note to self: if Uncle Paul says it's ok, it must be ok.

Ok, ok, it looks cool...

Monday afternoon comes and we're running late. I wanted to catch the matinee showing, so we ate McDonald's in the car and screeched into the parking lot. The previews were already running when we got in, but Habtamu still found time to poop and drool over the same IronMan 2 poster his sister saw before the movie started. Sorry, I just think it's funny that both kids specifically informed me of their intended bowel movements before settling in for their first movie.
The movie started and after a barrage of initial questions, he did a good job of keeping up with it. No spoilers here, but there's a scene early on where the main character gets chased through the jungle by a large cat-like animal. It was pretty intense, and made my son snuggled into me. That was my favorite part. Habtamu later said that he liked everything after that 'the best.'
As we left, he gave me a big smile and said he couldn't wait to go home and get Avatar2 on DVD. I had to tell him that there wasn't an Avatar2 yet.
"But I want to know what happens next!" he pleaded.
"I know honey, boy do I know. What do you think happens next?"
"How am I supposed to know if I haven't seen it?"
"Well, you might have to use your imagination. I don't know if there will be another movie, but I bet there will be books or something. You might have to read about what happens next."
"Ugh! I don't want to read! I just want to watch it!"
And thus another media junkie is forged. Start saving your money kiddo, them action figures ain't cheap.
Side note: Both kids, independently chose the back row center as the ideal movie watching location. In Yordi's case, it was right next to the only other people in the theater. That was fine for her, a little awkward for Daddy. H said it was because he didn't want anyone else's head in his way, (because you that showing was *packed,* being a school-day matinee and all) but I think there's some subconscious 'back of the bus' coolness factor going on.

The Cinema pt I: Build your own Princess

2010-02-05T07:38:00.001-06:00

With full-time employment pending, really wanted to get some Daddy time in with the kids. I talked to Chris about it and we decided that now was as good a time as any for me to take them to the movie theater. Now, the kids are no strangers to movies, DVD's, VHS, and anything else that comes through the TV set, but they've only seen a theater from the outside.

When I told Yordi that I was going to take her to see 'The Princess and the Frog' she told me she wasn't interested and that she had already seen it. "Really?" I asked, "Where?" "At Meagan's. I saw Part 1 and Part 2," she replied. "Um, that one is different," I said. "Hm," she said, unconvinced. So on Saturday, we hit the theater. We got there a full half hour early which gave her plenty of time to get the lay of the land, ogle the IronMan2 poster, poop, watch all the previews, and then send me out for popcorn 8 seconds into the actual movie. Chris and I were a little concerned that she wouldn't be able to follow it, but once the movie got rolling she was fine. (She doesn't do well with any kind of ellipsis; she wants to see it all.) She laughed at the right times and was fine during the scary parts. When it was all over, she pieced together that each room in the theater was showing a different movie. I was pleasantly surprised that she figured that out by asking questions and reading signs, and not by poking her head into each room.

When we got home I looked up the movie on IMDB and found this picture of the main voice actress:
Trying to be clever, I called Chris over and asked her if she thought they found the actress first and then drew the character to look exactly like her, or vice versa. She just looked at it and said, "You realize that's your daughter in couple years, right?"

Sigh... she's totally right.

The Realities of the American Dream

2010-02-01T11:48:00.004-06:00

So you may have noticed that things have been quiet on the blog front lately. That's not because life here has slowed down at all, but because I decided what has been going on was best left out of the public forum. It's not anything with the kids. They are fine, on-track, adjusting, etc... it's me. 3 months ago I was RIF'ed at work, and that my last day would be Dec. 31st. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, RIF stands for 'Reduction in Force' and it's a polite way of saying, "It's not you, or the work you are doing, it's the position."

Ugh. Talk about one of the rites of passage that you want to avoid... All the frustration and fear. All the humiliation and feelings of worthlessness. The rollercoaster of hope and despair that follows. There are lots of stories that won't be told because I don't want to relive them, but I can tell you that I have a whole new respect and sympathy for the unemployed. Roughly 700,000 people in Illinois are unemployed, and in my area, it hit 16% this last month. That means more than 3 people out of every 20 who want a job don't have one (and that doesn't even count people who have completely given up, I found out.)

Suffice it to say, the odds are stacked against you. So what do you do?

Well, I figured out a couple things early on:
1) Lashing out at my former employer wasn't going to have any kind of positive net result, especially since I was still on the payroll for the next 2 months. (No severance package per se, but I got a 2 month warning...)
2) I needed to be deliberate about diet, excersize, and keeping in touch with friends if I wanted to avoid depression and look and feel my best at interviews.
3) Make lists and do them. Boredom => depression.

So that was the plan. Keep my mouth shut, healthy routine, keep busy, and pray something worked out quickly.

Turns out, keeping busy wasn't a problem. I picked up some short term contract work almost immediately so we were able to pay the mortgage and break even in December and January. It took 21 days for the state to process (and deny) my first unemployment claim. Granted I was denied because I was working, but the point is, if we were really depending on that money, it is a long time to wait.

Every unemployment story I've heard is different. Mine had a happy ending and what makes my story unique in this era is that I found a job 5 weeks after losing my previous one (although it was really 3 months of job hunting.) We are extremely fortunate that a lot of factors 'just happened to work out' in our favor the past couple months.

There are people out there who believe that everything they have, they earned. The implication is that you could have the same if you worked as hard as they did. It also implies that the guy that works three jobs to make ends meet doesn't work 'as hard' as they do. I'm of the 'everything I have is a gift' mentality. My new job is a mile from my house, the work will be nice and challenging, and I somehow retain my previous retirement plan.

I have a hard time believing I did much of anything to earn that.

Just like the good old days...

2010-01-13T09:48:00.001-06:00

I had the opportunity today to work with a couple government agencies today, a pleasure I haven't had for about a year and a half now. I guess part of a 'paper pregnancy' is forgetting how much fun that is.

Here's the run down:

Yesterday
9:15am - Midnight: Tried unsuccessfully throughout the day to fill out and submit some fairly straight-forward forms online. Keep in mind that those of us who fix computers for a living would rather strap an angry woodchuck to our nether regions than go into an office and say, "I know the form is available online, but it didn't work for me." Seriously though, I couldn't do it. Chris couldn't do it. When you click 'Continue' and you get '404' it's not our fault, that's just bad programming. Anyway it only took 15 hours for me to swallow my cyber-pride. I think that's a record.

Today
8am: Drive 35 minutes to Government Agency #1.
8:40 Find the paper version of the form and fill it out while standing in the right line (because I'm a pro)
9:00 Realize that I only have one form of identification on me.
9:05 Get back in the car, go to Government Agency #2 to request a replacement ID card.
9:20 Read the sign that says I have insufficient identification on me to make said request.
9:25 Start to drive home to get passport which 'should' make it unnecessary to get the replacement ID card that Agency #1 wants so badly.
9:26 Call the Agency's 800 number in hopes that I can request the necessary ID without producing any actual forms of ID.
9:29 After multiple verbal menus, I'm told to fill out a form at my local agency office... so I continue home.
9:45 Jump back in the car (with passport) and drive 30 minutes back to Government Agency #2
10:20 Arrive at agency #2 and get my number. Sign at the front counter says, "Average wait time 20 minutes."
10:55 Number is called. (I've always been above average...) and I go up to the window.
10:57 Request for replacement ID is processed and I'll get it in the mail in 7-10 business days. Which is fine, except I want it today.
11:10 Drive back to Agency #1 with my drivers license, passport, the properly filled out form, and a receipt from Agency #2 saying I tried to get more ID.
11:15 Join the fray. For some reason this particular 'line' wasn't very linear.
11:25 I hear the one of the workers tell another client that she needed a photo ID and document with his Social Security number on it. My passport does not show my SSN and I don't carry my card around, so I'm hosed.
11:26 Call Chris to see if she can dig out a W-2 or something and drive it over to me. She says she can but it would take her a while to get the kids ready. That's wife-code for, "You're on your own buddy."
11:27 Digging through my bag, which I had with me the whole time, I find an obscure insurance form that conveniently has my SSN in bold on the front page.
11:31 I'm sitting in front of an agent.
11:38 Form submitted, accepted, and I'm in my car for the 35 minute trip home.

Futile online time: 12+ hours
Car time: 1.5 hours.
Standing in line time: 1 hour
Unnecessary trips to Government Agency #2 for unnecessary forms of ID: 2
Face time: 4 minutes

Ahhh brings me right back to the adoption days. The only thing that would have made it better would have been some kind of fingerprinting mishap. I don't know whether to be really frustrated that I wasted a day and a half dealing with paperwork that really only required 4 minutes of productive time (less had the internet not failed me) or if I should be relieved that I actually finished in under 5 years.

Either way, I'm glad that part's over.

Ethiopian Peace Accord

2010-01-11T19:54:00.002-06:00

Today, an issue that has been brewing between the 2 Ethiopian factions came to a head.

Both parties complained of being awakened by the other party to use the bathroom at night. Tired of this particular argument, I went into Diplomatic Mode to get to the bottom of the problem. Both parties vehemently denied waking up the other party during the night, and yet both stuck to their original complaint that it was the OTHER party at fault.

I'll spare you the conversation, although it was hilarious. The breakdown went like this: Yordanos had stopped waking Habtamu up when she had to do #1, but she DOES wake him up when she has to do #2. Habtamu, alternately, does NOT wake up Yordanos when he has to do #2, but DOES wake her up to do #1.

The following treaty has been proposed and accepted by all parties, and goes into effect tonight:

No one will wake anyone up to use the bathroom at night for either #1 or #2. And both parties will remember how much they dislike being woken up when deciding whether to wake up the other party.

The only acceptable reasons for waking up either party:
a) FIRE
b) persons unknown breaking into their 2nd floor bedrooms
c) bats flying in room

Because Daddy's Psychic

2010-01-05T23:09:00.006-06:00

Yordanos: *BURRUFFT!!!*
Lee: I see you opened the whoopie cushion Santa left in your stocking.
Yordanos: Yep! It puff sounds puff-puff funny. (3 small squeezes) *Brft-Barfft-BrrAFT*
Habtamu: Me too! (Sets whoopie cushion on the floor)
STOMP!
***BORP***
Lee: You know... those really weren't made to be stepped on. It won't last very long if you keep stomping on it. You'll be sad when yours breaks and your sister still has one to to play with.
Habtamu: I know. puff-puff (Sets whoopie cushion back on the floor)
STOMP!
***POW***
Habtamu (picking up the cushion and putting his finger in the gaping hole): It's broken.
Lee: Didn't see that one coming, huh?

Chris giggles
Yordi continues pooting away in the other room
Aaand curtain!

Meh.

2010-01-04T20:39:00.003-06:00

I know I should blog, but I just don't feel like it. I should have written a Christmas letter, or made New Year's resolutions or something... just couldn't work up the energy. This is a hard time of year for me to get excited about. I know, I know... CHRISTMAS! I actually like Advent better... being a more contemplative time.

I have to say I'm relieved to be back in our regularly scheduled life. It works better for the kids and for me. We only had one really big meltdown from Habtamu this whole season... pretty much this whole winter. He was, you guessed it, hungry, tired, and in transition, and his sister called him "mean" for changing the rules of his own game to suit himself. So, he sat by himself at McDonald's without his lunch (his choice) while we finished up eating and I tried to remain calm myself, since I just wanted to yell (which never, ever helps).

The kids are typical American children now. Sigh. They had their Christmas lists prepared in advance and when it was all over, had the gall to say those words spoken by children everywhere in lands of plenty: "Is that all?"

We spent the weekend after New Year's at a cabin with Lee's folks and his sister and her family, which now includes the cutest baby in the universe. Yordanos did not bring her new doll, because, "Baby Jovie will be there... SHE'S my American Girl Doll." So we talked late into the night, watched movies, played games, worked puzzles, and played Wii until our brains were pleasantly mushy. (Hence the aforementioned breakdown by Habtamu.)

Back to the grindstone today. The kids and I had a pretty good time at school today. I added a couple of new things that they liked. I thought Yordi was going to go down, but she rallied and they worked very hard. Then we went to the library, replenished our books and videos, paid a $9 fine (doh! those dvds!), and had a lovely afternoon eating popcorn and watching the Cosby Show.

Hello to the Madison, WI contingent! Thanks, Andi, and Andi's friend Kristen(?) for reading.

Wax-a-roons

2009-12-23T21:42:00.003-06:00

I should have known. I should have listened to that inner voice that said, "Don't use wax paper in the oven." And YET... the cookbook specifically said "Line sheet with greased wax paper."

SO... with smoke pouring out of my oven and all my baking sheets now covered with wax, I have to say !@#*&@*&$^*^%&^@%#&$*&* to you, stupid cookbook, and the horse you rode in on. Also #$@%.

At any rate, making lemons out of lemonade, or in this case, macaroon chunks out of a big waxy mess... Lee and his cousin Mike didn't have any trouble picking off the good bits of coconut-y yumminess. Mike's wife didn't join us in our munching, which is, we figure, the reason she is a size 2 and we are not.

This is the Sport that Never Ends...

2009-12-17T10:53:00.005-06:00

My mom asked me the other day about soccer, and I realized that it SEEMS like there would not be soccer at this time of year.

Oh, but there is. They still have practice 3 times a week (indoor), and they had one tournament each (indoor). Indoor play is quite different from outdoor: fewer players, smaller field, smaller goal, no off-sides, shorter games. They each had 4 games during their tournament... on the same day.

Here's a pic from Yordi's last game in November. It was chilly. (Ha! We thought THAT was cold.) They ended well, winning this game 2-1.

And here's one from October... Habtamu's got a pretty powerful kick.

Excuse me...

2009-12-16T13:09:00.003-06:00

Have you ever...

Mom?

tried to talk...

Mom?!

to your spouse...

Mom? Mom?

without being...

Mommy? Where are you?

interrupted?

After church on Sunday, I had just a few things to talk about with Lee. I let the kids get out of the car, and told Lee, "Lock the doors!" So we sat in the car in the driveway with the doors locked. The kids started pelting snowballs at the car and were having a grand old time. We then put the car in neutral and let them push the car up and down the driveway.

Meanwhile, our kind neighbor, seeing our car being pushed, stopped to help... Hee hee... had to tell him, no thanks, we're just trying to talk for 5 minutes.

I think somebody's excited for Christmas.

2009-12-13T18:22:00.000-06:00

Monkeys - another story by Yordanos.

2009-12-12T18:19:00.000-06:00

I just love her stories.

Killer Lentil Soup

2009-12-11T18:02:00.003-06:00

Both kids agreed that this soup didn't look like it would taste good. Both had 2 servings and were oohing and aahing over it. I'll share it with you, although it's certainly not rocket science. You all probably have the ingredients on hand.

1 onion chopped
4 carrots chopped
1 T crushed garlic
4 T butter
1 t. cumin
1 t. paprika
1/2 t. cayenne pepper (or red pepper, or your spicy spice of choice - or not)
1 can diced tomatoes
1 cup chicken broth (I use chicken base mixed with water)
2-3 cups cooked lentils

Fry up the onions, carrots, and garlic in butter. Add spices, stir to avoid burning. Add tomatoes and broth and lentils. Let simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

I served it as a thick soup this time. Add less liquid, and it can be eaten with injera or flour tortillas.

Stary Wars

2009-12-09T20:28:00.002-06:00

Yordanos opted out of book time tonight to write her own story. She had some help from the nerdiest mom on the block, but you know, how else is a kid gonna spell 'Bacta Tank' right? And really, it's pretty amazing considering that last Christmas she told me Yoda was Luke's father.

Clicking on the picture should make it nice and big for ya'll, but I'll warn you, there's a big spoiler in there for the three of you who haven't seen Return of the Jedi yet. If anyone has trouble reading it, I can transcribe it. I'm fluent in Yordese.

Endless Weary Procession

2009-11-19T20:34:00.004-06:00

That's how I would describe my days (if 4 hours of daylight can even be CONSIDERED a "day"). I am weary of making lunch... AGAIN... and dinner... AGAIN... ad nauseum...

Since daylight is brief, my body has been craving carbs... so much so that I have been baking vast quantities of bread, pancakes and cookies. A friend asked if I happened to be in training for a marathon. After wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes, I had to admit that, NO, it's just that my butt has been begging to be bigger for such a long time that I finally decided to give it what it wanted.

I know that looks like a lot of pancakes, and it is... I think I did 6 times the recipe. I am not sure what possessed me to make that many in one sitting (well, standing) and I was swearing by the end of it. However, the kids can reheat them for breakfast by themselves.

Also, I baked my mom's bread recipe... the one that she made rolls for every holiday and family gathering in my youth. And at every gathering, someone would invariably ask, "Connie brought the rolls, right?" Because, seriously, people maybe would decide not to stay for Thanksgiving if she hadn't brought these rolls. (By the way, Mom, I'm sorry I scoffed at you when I was a teenager about your bread. You were reminiscing about baking all our bread when I was little, and I snorted and said, "What a waste of time." And you said quietly, "I didn't think it was." You were right and I was just being a little expletive deleted. Thankfully, my children are kinder to me than I was to you and they said, "Mmmm.... tastes like Ethiopia bread.")

You'll notice that the recipe yields 2 dozen rolls. I made one dozen rolls and one loaf and this is all that was left about an hour after they came out of the oven.

Speaking of Ethiopia food, I had a bag of lentils and decided to make Yemiser W'at (Lentil Stew.)
Gratifyingly, both children drifted into the kitchen, sniffing the air and asking, "Are you making Ethiopia food?! Yum!" I wish I could claim responsibility for them liking lentils. Seriously? What kid likes lentils? Mine were eating them right out of the pot, not even needing the stew. But they did like the stew. We didn't have injera (the Ethiopian bread) so we used flour tortillas which were a success. (No, I can't make injera... it takes days by all accounts... I've tried and failed... if anyone has an easy way to make it, I'm all ears.)

One day, I asked the kids to help me put the dishes away. There was such a cacophony of whiny-pantsing that I put my earphones in and sang loudly to some 80's music. For some reason, the children did not think this was funny. It sure made MY work go smoother.

Oh, and Son, Never, ever, take your eyes off the clown.

2009-10-30T09:56:00.001-05:00

So there I am, in Wal-Mart with the kids the other day, noodling around the Audio/Video area. I know that doing so just taunts the children, but it's pretty much the only department where we can all amuse ourselves for more than 2 minutes. H went straight for the Playstation, Yordi spent some time pressed in front of the iPod display, and eventually they both converged on the phones. As it's Halloween, the store had all the scary movies discounted and on display out front. We had walked right past them to get to the shiny things on the way in, but as he is so good at doing, on the way out Habtamu grabbed a random movie off the rack and asked if we could get it.

"No." I said in my hurried, irritated father voice, seeing only that he was carrying some black DVD.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because it's scary," I said instinctively.
"Scary?" He said incredulously.
"Yeah. Scary. Like every other movie in this rack. Put it back. Let's go."
"If it's scary, why is there a little girl on it?"
I finally glanced back and actually looked at the DVD in his hand.

"Uh, yeah. Put it back."
"But she's just watching TV."
"Uh-huh. Trust me. Put it back."

Part of me really, really wants my kids to go through the certain rights of passage, and to have the same reflex to punch clowns in the face, as my generation does. If I do nothing else for my children, shouldn't I leave them with a healthy fear of possessed clown dolls? Everyone I know has some movie that they later confess they were too young to watch. I kind of think that when the time comes for my children, I'd rather it happen in my presence with a movie I'm familiar with, than having them come home sleepless and whimpering after some slumber party.

If Yordi wasn't already hearing things in her closet, I'd probably seriously consider it, but as it is, the last thing we need is for her to be afraid of her closet, the hall closet, the tree outside her window, and clowns under her bed. There's just no good that could come of that.

So this Halloween, you get a pass my little ones. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go punch a clown and then run and long jump into bed.

*Although not directly stated, the movie was Poltergiest. For us children of the 80's, it goes without saying.

Statistical Probability + Psychological Warfare = Yahtzee!

2009-10-29T08:48:00.002-05:00

Habtamu does 'casual math' in his head like I remember doing. He'll sit in the car and divide out how many slices of pizza everyone should get for dinner, or figure out how many more quarters he needs to get to a dollar.

For Yordi however, it is taking more time to solidify some fundamental mathematical connections. For some reason, the fact that my daughter didn't intuitively know that two even numbers added together always equal another even number was really burning me up the other night. We were playing Yahtzee and she couldn't figure out why my voice kept rising every time she guessed at her die count.

"What's 27 plus 1?"
"28."
"Good so what's 28 plus another 1?"
"30...?"
*eye-roll* "Then what is 28 plus 2?"
"Umm, 30."
"Yes! Ok, so what's 30 minus 1?"
"31."
"No, minus. 30 minus 1?"
"32?"
"UGH! No! if you have 5 dice and they are all sixes, how many points do you have?"
"50."
"What? No! Stop guessing."
"Yes! Yahtzee is 50 points."
"Urgh... No! Well,yes but... ok... (Deep breath) I meant how many dots are showing?"
"30!"
"YES! Now, if I make one of those sixes a five, how many points do you have!?"
"twe....nty.... eight?"
"GAH! NO! Do it again! IF YOU HAVE FIVE DICE AND THEY ARE ALL SIXES..."
"IDONTKNOWIDONTKNOWIDONTKNOW!!! Daddy, why are you yelling at me? It's just a game?"
"IT'S NOT A GAME! THIS IS MATH! THIS IS IMPORTANT!"
"I do math in the morning. I don't know it now."
"NO! Math is like English! You NEVER get to turn it off! It's always important!"
(This time I get the eye-roll)
"Look, this is serious. What if you go to buy something at the store and..."
"I don't want to play any more."
"FINE. Add up your score and you can be excused."

My daughter then gets real low to the table and proceeds to add up her full Yahtzee card. For those of you aren't regular players, that's 6 numbers plus another 6 numbers which then have to be combined to get your final score. She then pushed her chair back, dropped her pencil on the table, and made a deliberate exit.

Curious (and petty,) I checked her math. "Wait a minute!" I yelled back at her. "You can add 12 numbers together correctly, but you can't tell me what 28 plus 1 is? You CAN do math at night just fine when you want to! What's going on here?"

"The game is finished," She said. "It's book time."

You know, I'm still not sure exactly which 'game' she's referring to.

Note to self: No Paul Newman movies for the child who is already sharking daddy at Yahtzee.

Just when you think you've got it all figured out

2009-10-26T18:45:00.009-05:00

I've been trying to suppress my inner jerk, and it hasn't been easy this week. Habtamu had an awful game this weekend. We drove out to flippin' Lombard, which was 120 miles round trip, just to watch the team lose. H got injured, the extent of which is debatable, some time during the first half and did a whole lot of ball watching the rest of the game. He'd make a half-hearted kick somewhere in the vicinity of the ball, then watch the other team run by. As a soccer dad, so far that makes my blood boil the most. I'm sure he'll find some other way to tick me off, but for now, that's taking the cake.

So, you know, I tried to find something positive to talk about on the way home. His throw-ins were good. He really 'toughed it out' through his injury. Anything but what I was really thinking. We made it home in reasonably good spirits. But it's been in the back of my mind... Why is he just giving up? Why isn't he taking soccer seriously? When is he going to commit? Etc... All those things that sport Dads worry about.

Last night was rough too. Too much sugar and excitement, not enough cooldown time. Yordi got scared a couple times, I dreamt about being chased by Vampires (apparently I had too much candy too) and I didn't ask details, but the toilet upstairs flushed no less than 4 times between 6:30 and 6:45 this morning. So as I was coming home from work, I braced myself for who was going to be the biggest crabby patty when I walked in. And this is what I was met with:

That's right. My son, for the first time, had picked up a book and was reading through chapter one of Junie B Jones just because he wanted to and because he could. He would go a good 8 to 12 words before needing any help. He then read the second chapter after dinner. Chris and I high five'd in the kitchen when nobody was looking.

Yordi has already crossed the 'reading for pleasure' thresh-hold and even wrote a little story straight out of her own imagination the other day. She doesn't fear reading or sounding things out and will fudge unfamiliar words on the fly instead of getting bogged down and frustrated. Some days it's almost as if they are completely different people...

So it may not have been a banner week for soccer, but he certainly made up for it in the life skills department.

Moment of Zen

2009-10-22T23:39:00.003-05:00

Murray is the best cat ever. He's not perfect... he's got a penchant for puking on our white bedspread... sometimes while we're in it. But if you want your lap warmed, just sit for 30 seconds, and he's there for you, man. He usually sleeps stretched out along my back, or curled up between Lee's and my heads. Lee and I often joke that "nothing will ever come between us... except Murray."

A friend of mine just had her BFF Cat die this summer, and it got me paranoid about Murray. There's nothing wrong with him that I know of, and I'm sure I'd be sad if something happened to the other cats, BUT... c'mon! It's Murray.

The kids are still campaigning to get rid of Rico, "the mean cat," and bring in Fluffer Nutter, "the nice one from outside." Oh? The one that has fleas and who we've been calling Night of the Living Dead since he got in a fight that ripped half his face off? That one?

Some people claim that there's a woman to blame...

2009-10-18T21:35:00.000-05:00

... but I know, it's my own damn fault. (A little Jimmy Buffett for you. Sorry about the "D" word, but it fits.)

So, I've just been little Suzy Homemaker lately, making my own red sauce, making apple sauce, drying red salsa peppers...

I hung the peppers up to dry and they were doing fine, but I wanted to dry them faster. So, I pulled them all down and sliced them lengthwise, spread them on a baking sheet and put them in the oven on low.

In my defense, I usually don't have a cold that requires the blowing of my nose every 5 minutes. I realized something was very wrong when the outer edge of my nose caught on fire. What the? There was then a little mild swearing and vigorous hand washing to get the pepper oil OFF and meanwhile my nose is STILL ON FIRE and did I just RUB MY EYE? Am I a complete moron? It's not like I haven't done this to myself before. Hello? Gloves? I see why pepper spray is so effective... I just about knocked my own self out in my own kitchen. So, my face is on fire and I can't open my left eye. "Mommy? You ok?" "Peppers..." I choke out, and start coughing up a lung because I've just breathed in the pepper from the air.

I won't even show you the teeny tiny bag of dried red pepper flakes I got for all my trouble.

Last night, when Lee came to bed, I was still awake. I rolled over and wiggled my fingers at him and asked, "Are my fingers on fire?" He laughed, confused, and said, "No. Should they be?" I had trouble sleeping they were so hot. And today, "Mommy? Why are you shaking your hands like that?" They laughed at me too.

So, next year! Gloves! Remind me!

This is Your Child

2009-10-17T19:41:00.001-05:00

This is Your Child... On Donuts!

English as a Second Language

2009-10-16T17:16:00.000-05:00

It has been interesting, to say the least, to hear the children's language develop. We decided to let their language grow more or less organically.

There are still some words that give them trouble. Here are some of the current ones.

Glalola Bal - Granola Bar (They've had trouble with this one since day 1. It has finally started bugging me enough that I make them repeat the syllables after me before they can have one.)

FAMily - FINally (Yordanos uses Family for Finally, using the right inflection, so you ALMOST think she has said the right word.

reclistree - electricity (Yordanos is working on it... it's been a tongue twister for awhile.)

The Coldest Day EVER!

2009-10-15T17:16:00.001-05:00

So, I drew the short straw for getting Yordanos to her 7:55 game Saturday morning. They have to be there 45 minutes before the game to warm up, so that makes the wake-up time somewhere in the "For the Love of all that's Holy, this is so early it's still yesterday" category. We didn't really draw straws... Lee was willing to take her, but Y looked up at me and wrinkled her cute little brow and said, "Mommy? I want YOU to take me." It wouldn't have been so bad except somebody's watch kept beeping every hour all night, so I saw 12:00, 1:00, 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, 5:40, 6:00, 6:18 and finally decided it wasn't going to get any better, and dragged my weary carcass out of bed.

I was so glad I did because look what I got to see...

Does that look cold and slippery? Oh, yes.

She was crying in the car as her hands thawed out. We got more layers ready for the next game. Good thing, too, because it SNOWED during her 2nd game. Seriously? That goes against so many of my personal comfort issues. I didn't take any pictures of the 2nd game. I was too demoralized.

Life Lessons

2009-10-14T16:53:00.002-05:00

Life Lesson #57: Don't let a white girl help you rinse your hair at the YMCA.

I've talked some about Yordanos' hair issues. Her hair is HUGE, and sometimes has a life of it's own. As it gets longer, we have to work harder and harder to keep the clumps out. Yes, clumps. If she wanted to do dread-locks, it would be absolutely NO problem... just let the clumps clump. Or maybe, if you're familiar with the properties of wool, you'd see that her hair will actually felt and make a water impervious shield-clump. Hmmm... we have had trouble finding hats to fit her a.) big head, and b.) her big head with big hair. Puffs do not fit under hats... not any hat that I've found.

After the big soccer weekend, I got her in the tub and performed a clump-ectomy. Not too bad since we'd done a massive 2 and a 1/2 hour detangling the weekend before.

Lee took the kids swimming at the Y yesterday with a couple of friends. Yordanoas wanted to wash her own hair after swimming. With deep misgivings, I said yes, and we went over the rules of hair care... only rinse and wash one direction - front to back.

Weeeeellllllllllll, she comes home with the whole back of her hair matted up. 2 big mega-clumps covering the back of her head. So, predictably, I get angry, she gets defensive, claiming it's not her fault.

ME: Well, whose fault is it then, because it's NOT MINE! And now we have to spend the whole evening detangling.

Y: I don't want to! I hate my hair! Why can't we do it tomorrow?

Me: It will just get worse if we leave it. We have to do it!

Y: Why are you mad at me? It's not my fault.

Me: It doesn't matter whose fault it is, we have to do it tonight.

Y: It was M! She helped me rinse my hair. (Turns out she rinsed it like you would rinse it if you had short straight hair, like hers.... by running your fingers up from the base of the neck.)

Me: Oh. Well. We still have to do it.

So, people, really, I was put OUT. This was going to be at least an hour's worth of work, which neither of us wanted to do, especially since we'd just detangled the day before. I wasn't even mad at the other child, I just didn't want to spend the evening making my daughter cry. Because, it really hurts when I have to rip the hair apart to get little clumps out of the big clump, then get 10 hairs at a time out of the little clump until it's gone. It makes a terrible sound, and she's crying and I'm crying, etc, etc...

Well, we got through it. I had M, the friend, come read to us while I pulled the clumps apart. It did take an hour or so, and we were all exhausted. As I was rinsing her head, Yordanos said, "Mommy? Thanks for getting the clumps out. You did a good job." Well, you can't pour burning coals on my head any more effectively than that. We hugged and kissed, and I told her that I didn't like that her hair hurts, and that she did a good job.

Anyway, she says she will not try to wash her own hair at the YMCA, and we had a talk with the friend about the right way to do it.

Oh, the Humanity!

2009-10-13T16:24:00.004-05:00

One of the hardest things about parenting is that you find yourself trying to parent HUMAN children. And, unfortunately, you find yourself, gasp... human, as well. So terribly human.

You want a story now, I suppose...

Lee had yesterday off for Columbus Day, so we went to the pumpkin patch and the apple orchard. (Oh, and, all of Illinois' children who were off school? They were all at the apple orchard. All of them.)

That made today a Monday, for all intents and purposes. Habtamu, predictably, cannot take the resumption of our regular days. He went into, well, let's just call it "ornery" mode while using his spelling words in sentences. I corrected him on one very small point of grammar, gave him options of what would be right, and he, predictably, made it seem like the end of the world. "I Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't!" "It will be wrong whatever I do!"

I try very hard to be a reasonable person, but this behavior makes my anger level go from 0 to 120 in 2 seconds. It's not like I hit his knuckles when he uses English incorrectly. I don't berate, belittle, or in any way indicate that I am displeased when I correct him. His overreaction to my correction is, well, there's obviously something deeper going on. Me getting angry doesn't help, but, OY! Do I want to whap the back of his head with my pencil? Yes! But, do I? No. Instead I take the higher road, and try not to take his anger personally.

Then, I try to think of the good days like yesterday...

Grumpy

2009-09-25T08:36:00.002-05:00

Now, if I asked you this question first thing in the morning, what would your response be? Angry? Defensive? Kind? Patient?

"Are you going to be grumpy like you were yesterday?"

Now, if the same question were asked to an ultra-sensitive sibling first thing in the morning, what would his response be?

Now, let's say that the 2 people asked the offending question got themselves together and became happy again, like we were first thing in the morning, what effect would that have on the one who asked the question?

Would she

a) get herself happy, since the other people were now happy?
b) become grumpier, and get sent to her room?

Just a Minute

2009-09-23T14:39:00.004-05:00

Literally... that's all I have. This week is all-soccer-all-the-time. 4 away games between now and Sunday.

People are still asking me when we will put the kids in school. Any of our reasons to keep the kids don't seem to matter when faced with the overwhelming opinion that a) I need the break, b) the kids will respect someone else more than me as a teacher, c) they need to be "socialized", d) they are somehow missing out on the public school experience, and e) it's just plain odd to be homeschooling. This last one is never spoken out loud and yet it is there. Please, please, give us homeschoolers the benefit of the doubt that we are doing what we think is right for our children. Not your children, but OUR children. I will get off my soapbox now. Also, you may realize this from raising your own children, but the more someone tells me I'm not "doing it right," the more I dig my heels in. I'll yield if I'm just being stubborn, but we've gone round and round the whole schooling issue, and so far the pros of being home outweigh the cons.

Anyhow, on the subject of school. This year got off to a better start. I converted a whole room into our classroom, gave the children their own drawers and work spaces. We usually do about 3 hours of school a day. This includes writing, spelling, reading, and math. There is often another enriching subject thrown in too. A friend of mine and I sat down last night and decided what we were going to co-teach our kids this year. We divided up the subjects by what we each felt comfortable teaching, which pretty much covered the whole list. Neither of us like poetry, but we decided we shouldn't cripple our children with our dislikes. (Wish me luck! I drew the short straw.)

I had her 2 kids over yesterday and we studied about the solar system in general and did a craft with the planets and their order from the sun. I plan to continue the space theme, as it was pretty popular. The kids all asked good questions... lots about the sun and moon, so next time will be devoted to the moon.

My time is UP. Rats. Off to Soccer. (Oh, yes, it's capitalized to show it's importance to us right now... just like the other 's' word: Sleep.)