9.18.2007

No Idea.

I don't think people have any idea of the impact they cause when conversations such as this take place:

Lady (who I just met, but who knows my mother-in-law): Hey! You'd better give Nancy some grandchildren!
Me: ?!?!? Um...
Lady: No, really, you should... she doesn't bring it up, but I bring it up to her.
Me: Well, it's up to governments at this point.
Lady: Governments?
Me: Yes, we're adopting.
Lady: Why?! You don't want your own children? Or can't you have them?
Me, in my mind: What the H#$@?
Me, out loud: Um, we can't have them.
Lady: OH! But people who adopt usually end up getting pregnant.
Me, in my mind: OMG! I am about to strike you down.
Me, out loud: Yes, but that cannot happen for us.
Lady looks skeptically at me.

I remained calm through this whole thing. My poor MIL was beet red. I wonder if she knew that this was not an uncommon attitude among people. I noticed a picture of the lady's kids on her desk, and thought that she probably had NO IDEA what she was talking about. So, I'm trying not to fume at the ultra-personal approach she took with someone she just met. Holy cow! I suppose this is a portent of things to come... we'll have children of an obviously different nationality, who "people" will see as fodder for EXTREMELY personal questions.

3 comments:

kelly said...

yeah.... people will always find SOME reason to ask personal questions. I can't believe how many people want to know if I was taking fertility drugs because I had twins. And immediately then want to know if "we're done having kids now" because "we have so many" - and "if we had the operation" and "which one of us had the operation." I think of all sorts of clever, rude, witty things to say in return... but usually just smile like I'm really, really embarrassed (which isn't too hard), and then try to evade the questions. Sigh. Sorry...

praying for you as you're waiting... and enduring.

McEvil One said...

Most people, in general, are stupid. (just look at our current president!)

Yet, if you quipped back with some remark like "That's none of your business" or "I feel uncomfortable discussing this"....then YOU'RE the bitch, even though she's the one prodding into your life.

Just remember, the people who care don't ask those questions. We ask questions like "So, loving your job?" ;)

Karin said...

Oh Yah...we've had near strangers ask our boys' history...in FRONT of them, even. And they weren't 'babies' either...we're talking elementary, middle and high school aged...It's crazy what folks feel entitled to ask.

Just found your blog...looking forward to reading!

xoxo