Our Dossier is in Ethiopia!

I'm a dope. I thought Frankfurt, DE was in Delaware. It was Germany. Now it is in Ethiopia waiting to be picked up. Very exciting!

Dec 11, 2007

12:00 AM

Int'l shipment release

ADDIS ABABA ET

12:00 AM

Held at FedEx location for recipient pickup

ADDIS ABABA ET

Package available for pickup at: HIGHER NO 21

Dec 9, 2007

1:09 AM

In transit

FRANKFURT DE

1:09 AM

Arrived at FedEx location

FRANKFURT DE

Dec 8, 2007

6:09 AM

Departed FedEx location

MEMPHIS, TN

1:37 AM

Departed FedEx location

MEMPHIS, TN

12:14 AM

Arrived at FedEx location

MEMPHIS, TN

Dec 7, 2007

9:24 PM

Left origin

HERNDON, VA

4:47 PM

Picked up

HERNDON, VA

2:30 PM

Package data transmitted to FedEx

It's Away! Our dossier is on its way!

Dear Families,

Your authenticated dossier will be mailed to Ethiopia today! The FedEx tracking number is xxxxx. I will also mail your photocopies of the authentication pages today.

As you track your dossier, please keep a couple of things in mind. First of all, do not be worried if the package makes stops in European or other countries for long periods of time. This is normal, and I've seen this happen often. Also, when the FedEx office in Ethiopia receives packages for our in-country staff representative, they call him to pick up the package rather than deliver it to his office. Because the FedEx office is not in close proximity to our staff member's office, it often takes him a few days to pick up the package. If you see notes that the package has arrived in Ethiopia but not been picked up, this is why.

Congratulations on the completion of this portion of your adoption process!

From our adoption coordinator

Hi Chris,

I wanted to let you know that I received your certified birth certificates, marriage certificate and I-171H today. We will authenticate your documents this week and will hopefully mail them to Ethiopia by the end of the week. I will send you an email confirmation when we mail your dossier.

Blessings,

Laurel

Another week, another round of paperwork...

So, you know those State certified documents that needed State certification I was talking about? Well, apparently, as much as *I* can't wrap my mind around it, both Michigan and Illinois have a procedure for creating such documentation. (We just had to make a written request to the Department of Redundancy Department. -JK) Anyway, we received both sets of (Super-Certified?) paperwork in the mail this week, and shipped them to America World that night. Fed-Ex dropped them off on Friday and we're hoping that's the end of the "Upon further review..." phone calls.
I can't remember if we mentioned this before, but the first of our paperwork expires January 1st. However, once our application is accepted in total, we would only have to upkeep a couple documents (like our homestudy,) and most of it won't need to be renewed. So I feel like even if we do need to resubmit something, at least we've got about a month to do it.

So we'll see...

We are going to be parents! Someday!

We received the final 2 pieces of paperwork yesterday and it will arrive in VA on Friday. Everything is notarized and certified and authorized within an inch of its life.

Our dossier is complete!

Logistical Fortitude

Welcome to another installment of ‘What they don’t tell you about adoption.’ You get warned about the ridiculous mountain of paperwork you’ll need to fill out, but you also are reassured that somewhere other mortals have accomplished this task. So it may be difficult, but it is doable. When you get the list of paperwork that needs to be filled out (for us that’s items A through Q) you realize that you have inadvertently signed up for a government sponsored scavenger hunt. The thing is, there’s no second place. It’s all or nothing, and only winners need apply.

Last Saturday, we received in the mail our last 2 pieces of paperwork! We needed our background checks certified and they finally arrived. In layman’s terms, this leg of the journey involved driving to Evanston to get fingerprinted, wait 2 weeks for background paperwork, when it comes in the mail, call the State and tell them the number on the bottom of the form they just sent you, then wait another two weeks for them to send you a certified copy of what you’ve just received. Last time we tried this we waited too long to make the phone call (btw, noone tells you this is how it works, and you only have 30 days from when you get the first background check to request a certified copy.) This was elusive item K on our list. See, scavenger hunt, seriously. But we got it. And for about 15 minutes there was rejoicing. Then Chris checked the list again. Turns out that Item A, our formal adoption request letter (which we had already redone once) was not certified. We’re sure it was sent out, but apparently never came back.

So blegh.

At this point, we have two choices. We can mail the letter downstate and wait 2 weeks, or take the day off of work and drive to the Office of Index in Chicago. The thought of heading into Chicago is so repulsive that we don’t even consider it an option. But on Monday, I just happened to have training in the City. And, as it turns out, the Office of Index was right in between the train station and my class. So, two dollars and a twenty minute walk later, I have a certified copy of our LAST letter in my hands. I even made it to class on time.

When I got home that night, we ran out to Kinkos-FedEx and made 4 copies of everything, 3 copies for America World, one for us. 60 dollars later, WE SENT IN OUR DOSSIER!!!

We were exhausted, but we won. 6 years in the making, our DOSSIER is done.

The next couple of days Chris and I would look at each other and say, “Hey, we’re finished.” It didn’t really sink in, though.

Then Thursday, the day Fed-Ex said that our dossier would arrive in America World’s hands, Chris got confirmation from AW that they had indeed received our dossier… and that it wasn’t complete.

Apparently 4 of the documents we sent in still need certification. The punishment/irony/insult of the situation is that those documents are original state-certified documents (which is why we didn’t find some way to get them re-certified) like our marriage license and birth certificates. So basically we need a statement from the State that certifies our State certified documents are really legitimate. Yes, it’s like asking a woodchuck if he chucks wood. No, we can’t argue the rules we can only play the game.

So now, we wait for our paperwork to come BACK from the adoption agency so that we can resubmit them to the States (i.e. both Illinois and Michigan) that already certified them. Right now, we’re still exhausted but also deflated.

We wait.

Again.

One Down

We received another complete document in the mail yesterday from Oklahoma. Why OK, you ask? Well... if it ever comes up for you... If you have to get a notarized item certified, you have to go through the state the notary is registered. Our life insurance is through a company in OK, and we had to get a letter with our insurance info.

It costs $25 per document to get a certification from OK. $20 per document for VA. And $2 per document for IL. I don't know why there is such a disparity, but IL pretty much rocks, since we sent about 20 documents in for certification for $40 total. $25 x 20 is a MUCH bigger number.

Don't tell IL they could be charging more, ok? :)

No Idea.

I don't think people have any idea of the impact they cause when conversations such as this take place:

Lady (who I just met, but who knows my mother-in-law): Hey! You'd better give Nancy some grandchildren!
Me: ?!?!? Um...
Lady: No, really, you should... she doesn't bring it up, but I bring it up to her.
Me: Well, it's up to governments at this point.
Lady: Governments?
Me: Yes, we're adopting.
Lady: Why?! You don't want your own children? Or can't you have them?
Me, in my mind: What the H#$@?
Me, out loud: Um, we can't have them.
Lady: OH! But people who adopt usually end up getting pregnant.
Me, in my mind: OMG! I am about to strike you down.
Me, out loud: Yes, but that cannot happen for us.
Lady looks skeptically at me.

I remained calm through this whole thing. My poor MIL was beet red. I wonder if she knew that this was not an uncommon attitude among people. I noticed a picture of the lady's kids on her desk, and thought that she probably had NO IDEA what she was talking about. So, I'm trying not to fume at the ultra-personal approach she took with someone she just met. Holy cow! I suppose this is a portent of things to come... we'll have children of an obviously different nationality, who "people" will see as fodder for EXTREMELY personal questions.

Oopsie, missed it...

Apparently, the Ethiopian Millennium was on Wednesday. They use a different calendar system.

Here's a link to the site: http://www.ethiopianmillennium.com/

Moving Ahead

It's been so long since we've written, but, yes, we are still working toward adoption. We have nearly completed our dossier (that's the inch thick pile of notarized and certified documents that will get translated and sent to Ethiopia). We are waiting (of course!) for our own gov't and our state for docs. We hope to have everything completed in the next couple of weeks. Then we will wait. (Of course!) :)

In accordance with our foster license from DCFS, we must take 10 hrs. of training. Some of it we did online... and actually, if you want to do some too, just to get involved, anyone can sign up on this site. It is free until you want the certificate, which we had to get to prove we took it, but you totally don't have to do. I imagine some of it would be helpful to parent children born to you as well.

Last Tuesday, we took a class hosted by our home study agency about International Adoption in general. Much of it was familiar to us. (Ok, honestly, one good thing about waiting so long for things to work out is that it gives you THAT MUCH MORE TIME to prepare, and figure out how you really think about things, and start developing skills.) I was glad we went, though, because it solidified some ideas we had about the post-adoption experience.

1. For the 1st month at home, we should cocoon and bond, just the children and us. Yes, this excludes friends, family, and even grandparents, which I know is difficult. The reason for this is because the children will have to bond exclusively to us. They have probably received inconsistent and sporadic care in the orphanage, and they need to learn that WE are their caregivers. Some children display indiscriminate affection for adults, because they have not bonded with one or both parents or caregiver. This has to be addressed in this way for their future development as individuals.
2. Consistency and Structure will be the watchwords for the 1st year or more. These kids will be used to the routine of the orphanage, which we will try to find out when we go. We can then keep a similar schedule, but change the institutional parts out for family ones. For example, they may be used to spending a great deal of time in bed or in a crib. Any playing at the orphanage happens in bed. We would not keep toys in their room, and use the bed for only sleeping and sleep related activities... you know, the bed time routine.
3. Keep a quiet, stress-free home, and ease them into things. These kids will be easily overwhelmed with a new culture. (A bunch of the families at the training already had kids, and were trying to figure out how to integrate new kids into the hub-bub of current family life. We should have that part easier, since we are, by nature, pretty calm and quiet.) Even after the one month cocooning in the very beginning, we'll not want to travel to see people for quite awhile, but people can come to us.

Next week we have a class about Attachment. I'll write more tidbits of info as I think of them.

Thanks for keeping us in your prayers.