1.15.2009

Q and A: Will the fun ever start?

Q: Does this mean than many months from now we are still going to have regressive behavior, with no clear explanation and no clear resolution?

-Kate (recently adopted 2 Ethiopian children)

A:
I'm afraid so, BUT they come less frequently. Also, once the language fills in, some explanations come. Not always, but sometimes. :) We do the best we can with what we've got!
Chris

Other A:
If your current misery needs some company, read our posts from July and August. We didn't have scabies, but we did get the cops called on us... oh, the Glory Days...

You know what though... It's been 6 months and Habtamu's last meltdown was so half-hearted it was almost amusing. He tried really hard to steady himself first because he knows the discipline routine, and at the last minute decided to commit to being disobedient. But really, you could tell that his head was telling him it was a bad idea, he just couldn't stop the train. He didn't yell as long, he didn't cry as loud, and (relatively speaking) it was over quickly. And basically it was a routine that he KNEW wasn't working but some wayward emotion told him to give it a try it anyway. The outcome was predictable and he received the same set of consequences he always does.

I guess what I'm saying is that it gets better. Another reader who had adopted a 10 yr old boy commented on our blog early on and said that basically, the demons will come out less and less and after a year you'll have the son you fell in love with "full-time." There were days that that comment alone is all I could hang onto.

After 6 months I can totally see that coming down the track. I can joke with both children and more importantly, they can tell me when I'm not funny. Anyway, in general, they both would now rather put effort into communicating their feelings than screaming themselves into exhaustion while Daddy 'helps them help themselves' pinned in a full-nelson. They don't like losing TV for days at a time. They have a love/hate relationship with apologies. They move on and hold grudges less than I do.

We take those as good signs.

It kind of disturbs me though to think that our blog could someday possibly turn into one of those happy/sappy/crappy life-is-like-our-Christmas-card-everyday ones. What would I write about? "Dear world, our kids were simply awesome today... Again! That makes 682 straight days of awesomeness. Can you believe it? Please comment."

Gag me.

Anyway, in my oh so wonderful world, I've been awake since H upchucked at 3:30 and should probably stop writing before I type something that I really regret. The good news is, I was up for the Snow Day call at 4:45am (one of the big advantages of working for a school system.) The bad news is it's -13 with a windchill of -30. Fan-freekin-tastic.
Ok, time to step away from the keyboard!
Lee

3 comments:

jur said...

Lee, there is a good chance that even when things level out and the kids get a grip on their emotions and reactions, your family blog will not turn into a permanent Christmas card. I am sure they will still ask questions like "If only our souls go to Heaven, how can we play with no eyes?" and other even more insightful ones.
Have no fear.
and I feel for you at that hour of non-sleeping.
My nose hairs froze this morning.

Katherine said...

Alright, I happen to think my kids are fantastic, but still, I can find enough negative things to write about so my blog isn't sappy or crappy. At least, I don't think it's either of those. Kids are kids and people too, full of mistakes and all that stuff. Just like adults! You both are doing wonderful at the new parent thing! Hope everyone else stays healthy and that H feels a lot better soon!

Katherine said...

Then again, now that I think about it, I suppose I don't write about all the bad stuff that happens around here, so perhaps my blog is sappy...