Halloween and Lessons Learned
We had some friends from church come by on Saturday to take pictures of us. They set up the backdrop, set up umbrella flash things, and got everything ready.
Habtamu went down in flames... started out sad and crying, moved to angry and crying, and when all was said and done, there was a hole in the wall of his bedroom. We were confused and scared and felt completely out of our league. H was finally able to tell us what happened. Turns out all the set up and equipment reminded him of the time his family in Ethiopia went to get their pictures taken. Oh. We have that picture... never even occurred that this could be an issue. We had him clean up the plaster (we have lathe and plaster walls) and he had to miss a costume party (I took Yordi, and we were both pretty sad the whole time) and he'll have to fix the wall with Daddy next week. We talked about good choices vs. bad choices, and how it's ok to be sad and angry, and it's ok to tell us before things escalate. He said he was scared to talk to us, which as a parent made me kinda angry inside... I mean haven't we ALWAYS been available and willing to talk about their Ethiopia family?! Haven't we ALWAYS comforted them when they miss Ethiopia and found ways to send pictures to their friends?! Then the adult part kicks in and thinks, well, how WOULD you know you can talk to me about anything... you've only known me 4 months!
By Sunday, things were back to normal - ish. H still felt bad about himself and was making up scenarios in which we would kick him out. "If I ____, then Habtamu no family." "If I ______, Habtamu outside, no house." Sigh. We reassured and reassured. I was nervous about Monday, and my nerves were stretched pretty thin that day, waiting for "something" to happen... alert to any sort of defiance or sadness, and trying not to walk on egg shells, but really - walking on egg shells... I HATE confrontation... I HATE chaos... I HATE not knowing what to do. (Ha ha. Welcome to parenthood!)
Our friends left their equipment set up and hooked my camera up to the flash umbrellas, so if things settled down, I could take pictures. Thank you so much, Curt and Becky! It's not you!
We were able to take pics on Sunday... old memories apparently processed for now... new memories made.
Of course we had to be goofy:
And, of course, we looked to my senior portraits for inspiration:
They wanted to wear the mittens, and what knitter could refuse them? I couldn't!