Handling the Holy and Blessed Remote Control

On behalf of all the parents in the world, I present to you:

The Remote Control Commandments

Thou shalt accept the fact that using the remote is a privilege, not a right.

Thou shalt respect the remote at all times.

Thou shalt wash thy hands before touching the remote.

Thou shalt take responsibility if the remote becomes sticky, dirty or in some other way ceremonially unclean. We all know Mommy didn't gunk up the remote with raisins and peanut butter.

Thou shalt refrain from playing with the remote between your feet.

Thou shalt not argue that your socks and/or barefeet, are actually clean enough for the afore-mentioned activity.

Thou shalt refrain from putting the remote in your mouth, even if it faintly tastes like socks, raisins and peanut butter.

Thou shalt keep the remote in plain sight at all times and preferably in a universally logical location. On top of the toaster may meet the first criteria, but not the second.

Thou shalt not hide or 'accidentally drop' it deep into the couch cushion. See previous commandment.

Thou shalt not randomly change channels or volume, nor shall you deny involvement when it happens.

Thou shalt move thine butt to the TV and not continue to mash buttons and sigh heavily when it's batteries are confirmed dead. Just because Daddy does it, doesn't make it right.

Thou shalt relinquish the remote to Daddy upon request.

Thou shalt do so immediately and without pouting, hesitation, bargaining or sulking as Daddy will only make His request once. After which, thine options will become extremely limited.

Thou shalt not continue to carry the remote control around after TV/movie/game time is over in hopes of staking a claim for the next time.

Thou shalt not throw the remote at Daddy, the TV, or any unsuspecting cat regardless of it's working condition or your current mood. ("It" being the remote control, not the cat.)

And most importantly:
Thou shalt respect He who allowed TV/movie/game time in the first place, for He who giveth can taketh away.

Happy Easter!
I'm a democratic kind of guy... please include any additional amendments to the Remote Control Commandments in the comments.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Ditto for my cell phone - no wait...put that down! there is no reason you sould have that!