6.23.2008

Chicago takes all day...

I'm so glad we went to one of the University of Chicago hospitals today. Chicago traffic not withstanding. Sorry, Brian, for the panic call while we tried to "go back the way we came" (haha, not possible in Chi-town... all roads lead to East 90, instead of West. Doh.)

The children were nervous and overstimulated by the time we got there. The children's waiting room was not terribly crowded, but filled with bright colors and tvs and and and...

First stop was weighing and measuring. H was already melting. Y did everything after I showed her what was going to happen. Then she talked H into it.

We met with an awesome nurse practitioner who specializes in cases like ours. We also met the Dr. in charge of international adoption studies there. ALSO in the room were 2 students. SO.... 6 adults and 2 children in a typically small exam room. Panic ensued.

H broke down, which was good, because the Dr. pretty much ruled out any physiological issues. He said "Oh, yes, it's a tantrum, much like a 2 or 3 year old." He gave us an idea of things to try, and we tried at lunch, and it was awesome.

If truly a tantrum, any attention given to it feeds it. H lost it while we were getting pizza at the hospital cafe (which was very good, btw, although we were starving), and we let him slouch at our feet. He loves pizza, so his behavior was irrational at best, as he kept saying "pizza, pizza, no, no, no pizza". We didn't answer. We sat at a table and prayed, as he sulked and we ignored him and didn't look at him. Finally, he started eating and came back to himself.

At home, they both lost it, because, I'm telling you, Chicago sucks out your soul. We did a restrained (so he wouldn't hurt himself) timeout with Lee being "the chair". The Chair doesn't have emotion, nor does the Chair negotiate. The person who is not the Chair, asks "finished? Yes or No?" If the crier can say Yes without crying then they may leave the chair. Also, Yordi always wants to stay with H while he has his bouts. This feeds them for him. So, we're separating them now, which causes Y to start screaming. BUT, H calms down faster.

And, so we are doing pretty well. It all feels better as we figure stuff out. You all have been so wonderfully supportive, and we do thank you for your continued support. The time will come when for us to bring the children out into the larger world. It takes a village, and we're glad you're our village.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey!
Glad things went well and you got some answers. Now the hard part...ignoring the tantrums. I remember my mom telling me a story about my cousin and a tantrum at 6 years old. My aunt poured cold water on him...he came out of it quickly and never threw a tantrum again! Not that I am suggesting you do that, just a funny story!

Julie

Katherine said...

hee hee! My aunt did the same to my cousin when he had a tantrum. Dumped a glass of ice water on his head! She said there were no more tantrums. We've had to put Sophia in time outs now. One lasted 20-30 minutes. The next one was 2 minutes. It is hard to ignore them while they're screaming!

Becky N said...

Good to hear, Chris and Lee. It takes consistency but with God's help I know you are up to the task. It won't be long before this is a thing of past, kids learn quickly and Y will get use to being taken to another area while H works his way through the issue at hand.

~Becky

Ann said...

So very glad your visit went well...tantrums are no fun....for the giver and the receivers :-) Consistency, love, guidance, patience and the ever needed prayer will get you through....you guys are doing fabulous (even on the days when you don't feel very fabulous!) Hang in there!

jill coen said...

You guys are great! I'm glad you went to Chicago, though I'm sure that was crazy. Praying that the tantrums subside very soon and glad it's a normal tantrum...however comforting that may be. :) Thanks for the updates for your faithful readers. :)

jill

Jori said...

What joyfull honest blessing you are! I love that you are just letting it out there and being honest with us and receiving advice. IT DOES TAKE A VILLAGE!!
Blessings, Jori

Karen said...

Wow - thanks so much for sharing. This could be very helpful and insightful information for all of as "adoptive" parents. Thanks for being so honest and so glad things are beginning to look up for you. Karen Wistrom

Rob & Candy said...

We can totally relate. We had to do the same kind of thing (chair) for our son.
It sounds like you are making awesome progress!
candy