I'm so glad we went to one of the University of Chicago hospitals today. Chicago traffic not withstanding. Sorry, Brian, for the panic call while we tried to "go back the way we came" (haha, not possible in Chi-town... all roads lead to East 90, instead of West. Doh.)
The children were nervous and overstimulated by the time we got there. The children's waiting room was not terribly crowded, but filled with bright colors and tvs and and and...
First stop was weighing and measuring. H was already melting. Y did everything after I showed her what was going to happen. Then she talked H into it.
We met with an awesome nurse practitioner who specializes in cases like ours. We also met the Dr. in charge of international adoption studies there. ALSO in the room were 2 students. SO.... 6 adults and 2 children in a typically small exam room. Panic ensued.
H broke down, which was good, because the Dr. pretty much ruled out any physiological issues. He said "Oh, yes, it's a tantrum, much like a 2 or 3 year old." He gave us an idea of things to try, and we tried at lunch, and it was awesome.
If truly a tantrum, any attention given to it feeds it. H lost it while we were getting pizza at the hospital cafe (which was very good, btw, although we were starving), and we let him slouch at our feet. He loves pizza, so his behavior was irrational at best, as he kept saying "pizza, pizza, no, no, no pizza". We didn't answer. We sat at a table and prayed, as he sulked and we ignored him and didn't look at him. Finally, he started eating and came back to himself.
At home, they both lost it, because, I'm telling you, Chicago sucks out your soul. We did a restrained (so he wouldn't hurt himself) timeout with Lee being "the chair". The Chair doesn't have emotion, nor does the Chair negotiate. The person who is not the Chair, asks "finished? Yes or No?" If the crier can say Yes without crying then they may leave the chair. Also, Yordi always wants to stay with H while he has his bouts. This feeds them for him. So, we're separating them now, which causes Y to start screaming. BUT, H calms down faster.
And, so we are doing pretty well. It all feels better as we figure stuff out. You all have been so wonderfully supportive, and we do thank you for your continued support. The time will come when for us to bring the children out into the larger world. It takes a village, and we're glad you're our village.